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The Weekly Cheek
The Weekly Cheek

Episode · 5 months ago

77. Why are people still getting married?

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we're talking about marriage! What place does marriage hold in modern society? Where does religion fit in? Let's discuss!

Find us online at cheekmedia.com.au and on socials @cheekmediaco, and become a Patron for $4 per month!

Hello, I'm Christia Parison Otto and I'm had a ferguson and where co founders of cheek media go. This is the weekly Cheek podcast. Before we start this podcast episode, I would like to acknowledge that we are here in the engine, on the lands of the turable and Yager people and that these lands were never seated. Welcome back to the weekly cheek welcome. Today we're going to be talking about marriage. Yeah, and we did do a very early episode on marriage, episode five, for we're arguing again where Angan it's going to be. We when we listen back to it, Weill like, can I just stop? No, not, I'm not getting to the fight. I think it's really funny when we reference on the pod that we listen back to our own episodes. Did all the time. I don't do it that frequently because I don't. I used to hate. I just want to say I used to hate listening to stun on my own voice on videos and things. But when it'sn't go on a high quality podcast it's not as annoying as because it's better quality. Is actually what your voice sounds like video? It's not true. Also, it's more for review. I like to know whether our back catalog is like something that I have stand by and like actively check those things. Yeah, please, I hope it's not an ego thing, like I just want I enjoy them, which is a nice thing. Well, it's also like, I guess is kind of a weird, maybe weird comparison to make, but it's kind of just like looking back over like old photos. Yes, it's like, Oh, remember when we did that? That was fun. Sometimes I have to look at old school stuff. Yeah, like maybe like a something really great that I wrote it Uni, that I'm proud of. Like I'm proud of what we do. So it's like, I hope it's in like an ego way, bit more in like a review. Yeah, thinking about it, checking in with the content as well. Way It isn't. Yeah, okay, this is the other thing. I cannot be. I can't have silence in my life at all. So sometimes when I'm driving like further than twenty minutes, I'm like I was I'm not a big music person, like I need something to capture me more. Music doesn't capture me. Wow, that's you are so sophisticated at high level thinking either wouldn't understand. I listen to Nemo Egg main title from Finding Nemo Three Times on the way here. Queen, are you fine? No,...

I told you that. So sometimes, if I can't find a podcast that like sparks my interest, I will just listen to our stuff because I will get like it will capture me. Anyway, back to it, back to it. So episode five, if you are interest citizen, we talk about marriage, but I think we were really worried about hurting people's feelings. Not Anymore. We don't give a funny line. Now I'm going to be taken down, but so mean, I think, because the thing is like, and I think we're getting better at being able to like critique an element of society without critiquing the people who participate in that element. Yes, and I think back then we'll just like, I don't want to hurting one's feelings she's married, because that's not what we jorlready people are married. Exactly. I mean not only one. I know I'm twenty three, so I don't really know that many married people that aren't divorced, because they're my parents age and they hate each other crazy. Yeah, he married. Yeah, marriage. How many it marries in a divorce? Anyway, back to it. Yeah, so we're doing it again, but different, different, because we're going to fight. Yes, because I'm gonna have to open with this. So something. The reason that we've come to this conclusion, that we have to talk about this right now, right here, is that I have been actively against both a marriage and children since I've known you. Yeah, right, for the past few years now. Interestingly, I few you know, early this year broke up with a partner and within a couple of weeks of being single, my views on marriage and children softened. It was really strange, like I ring my mom one day and I was like really back into it, like I was like I'd have kids, I would get married by La Bar, awful and horrific, I know, so embarrassing to me, and I realized that I had formed this view, this harsh, harsh value, against both marriage and children, and I had convinced myself that I had formed it of my own volition and then it was just my view towards those institutions...

...and that you didn't value an act. Yeah, but since leaving that relationship, now I realized it might have been just because it didn't feel right. HMM, and that's nothing against that person, but it didn't feel right and as soon as I left that it was like everything change. Maybe, yeah, I remember. This is so cringe, but I remember like describing like how I felt in the weeks afterwards as like someone put me like a plant back in the sun. I just felt like I was just different and I just felt like a lot of weight had lifted. Yeah, and so now it's like I had to come to you and be like, I have to confess. I know you're so worried. I was so scared. I was like, I have to tell you, I don't hate the idea of give me birth and I might get married one day. And how do you feel about that? But I also think that it would be worse not to tell you, because one I don't tell lies to my queen too. I think it's very healthy to actively change your mind and be flexible around these ideas. And if you can't talk about it and if you can't, say I've changed my mind, or I may change my mind, or I ma like to these things in future. Like who are we right? Yeah, so I think it's important talk about HMM. Anyway, let's go. So, HMM, I don't think anyone be surprised to hear I'm very against marriage. Crazy, crazy girl. So basically, just be a history about me. I never, I never have dreamed about a wedding like that. was never like when I was a kid. That was never something that I was like wow, O my God, my so my parents are married. For context, they're still married, and all my family is married, like the people who were in like all the adults in my family are married. Like no one has kind of just had a partnership that's not married, but most of the marriages around you are happy. Would you say, yeah, this is really interesting. Yeah, there's only been one divorce in my whole extended family to this is fascinating because so you've been with your partner for, is it eight years? Yeah, I was lose to crack, but I'm pretty sure it's a crazy girl. So, as a kid, yet know like particular interest.

Yeah, I was, and I've talked about this in an episode about my cultish question mark religious schools. So I was involved in that for a little while and definitely thought that for a short time in like my like mid to late teens, that like marriage was just like the thing that you did. But I did sort didn't feel excited by it. But did you think you were going to get married very young when you're in this sort of cold fish environment like what I yes, no, I I thought people got married at Nineteen. But I find me Christ and I don't understand how you are the person that you are today. I know it. This gives me every time you talk about this. But do you know what? I know? That's how fucked up religion is, and I'm not sorry about that. I will go more someone religions and I will ease Mary pushed up. Christianity is, yeah, yeah, organized religion. I Christianity because Christiana is what I have experienced in anyway. So, so that's when I thought, like that's when people were getting married, because people would meet their partner in school or at Church, while they're at school, and then when they finished school, they would then get married quite promptly. That was what was happening around me. No part of me actually thought through the logistics of myself getting married at Nineteen. What do you mean by the like? Did you you envision that you would do it, but you just never thought about the actual act and then, know, I just thought like that's just what everyone's doing. Okay, I didn't really think about it from a personal perspective right that much like in reality city. I think, like I probably talked about it with people, but there was no part of me that was like, Hmm, yes, I will be getting married at nineteen, like that wasn't like a true thought, which I think was part of the like I always kind of drink that it was like brainwashing around Christianity, which, even though I said as a joke, it's I think it's true, but it actually never infiltrated my like core values and morals. But I was kind of like, I guess, like in quotes, walking the war on the outside, but like, I don't think it infiltrated. Yeah, to a part of me, like...

...and also it was fairly easy for me to get out of that, to get out of religion and out of Christianity, and I think that if it had gotten deep, it would have been much more difficult for me to get out of it. Yeah, and I think that my core values were never aligned with Christianity. Do you think that if you hadn't had this experience, you wouldn't have such a harsh view of marriage? No, I don't think. I don't think that's pivotal to my view of marriage. That's interesting because I feel like it comes from a place of seeing such being part of almost a cult. HMM, I think makes people more oppositional afterwards, which I think I think you may lack the a like some awareness of how much that has made you hate it. Well, this is a reason. I don't think it has, because I went through a so I came out of religion and then for a while I went through like a very, very anti marriage and kids stage. I can't really tell you when. This was probably a t s and where I was like absolutely not, I don't know why anyone would get married. It is just like the worst thing I can possibly imagine. And I don't know why anyone would have kids. I don't know why anyone's going to do any of that and I'm not doing any of it. And it was that was like definitely like a pendulum swing to the other side. Yeah, like very like no kind of like no compromise type of mindset or nothing. Yes, and when I heard about people getting married, I was actively like what the fuck? Yeah, why would you do that? Like, if you're not my parents age, why the Fuck you getting married? That's why. That was my mindset. Yeah, and I was like even kids, like why would? Why? I'm going to be a career lady, GB US clean. And so then the that was. And then also, like one of the things that happened in that time which for me, I was just like wow, I called my mum once and I was like, why do you get married, like I was accusing her. Also, wasn't. Wasn't jammingst. It was like wow, yeah, tell me now, and she said that's what you do, that's what you did back...

...then. Yeah, and I was like, well, that's much ridiculously in that head a myout life, Kristen, and I'm so upsurd your reaction. Now. I turned, I told her it's her face and I was like, well, that's a ridiculous reason to get married, and because think she kind of agrees though now, yeah, but when everyone's doing it, like not everyone's doing it now. Well, I'm not going to, I don't know nothing to deferm myself, because that was it was a period of time. Then I swung back to like kind of the middle and more of like a softer like people can do what they want to do. Maybe I will have kids, but I think that that process was really important for me because I went from like a well, like probably just societal expectation of like yet obviously that's what you do, like no, no further thought required, you get married, have kids, that's it, and then to the other side where I was just like absolutely never and like if I ever did that I would rather die, and anyone who's doing it is wrong, obviously. So then after that I've come back yet to a bit of more of a middle period, but in the last year I have now moved further to the no marriage Yes side, and I just my biggest thing is why, like I want to know. I kind of feel bad. If you want to get married, that's that's fine. It's you, it's your choice. I support your choice to do everyone, obviously, but it's just like I want people to be able to answer the answer why they're getting married, and I know it's not of my fucking business and I have no right to ask these people that, but I just think that like a this like from like a like as particularly young progressive women, if they can't give a why, that like idem acceptable. I know I'm being so fucking annoying. That idem acceptable. I'm like well, that's like it is a lot. You've been sucift, you've been societally conditioned. I don't agree. I see the beauty. And here's the thing. I think context. Context is important. Like, I'm shocked that you've come from a family full of basically happy marriage, like your...

...parents have a great like from what I see, like they're great together, they love each other, blah, blah, blah. ME, on the other hand, pure trauma. My parents are the fucking worse. They had one of the matthewst divorces that I know of. It was really fucking awful and the the effects are still being felt. I don't see happy marriages in my extended family. I don't know. I only know my friends parents that a happily married. Well, for me, it Sorr. Know, just talk to ages, but for me my attitude on marriage has nothing to do with the status of married people around me. Nothing to do. I mean, I think that's that's valid, because I know that a lot of time you say a lot of people a married shouldn't be. That's not that's does not like infiltrate on my but it does to me, because my view on marriage is, like, I think my problem is I have a wider view about unhealthy relationships and people's inherent fear of being alone and this thing where people who should be together stay together because they think they've invested time or they can't be bothered to be alone, or they can people to change their situation and they just sit unhappily and just convinced themselves they're going to survive this for the rest of their lives because they're afraid of being fucking by themselves. Right. So I have this broad of view about like, I don't think a lot of people should be together. Like I genuinely, and this is extreme, and take it what you will, I didn't give a fuck. I think eighty percent of relationships are not good. That's high. I think about all the older people, you know. That's so I can't say anything because I have just had very extreme things to say. But, like, I'm talking all relationships. Like like, my thing is I think, and this is just a very specific opinion, but as a child of divorce, which I'm sure many of the people listening are, I feel like to go one of two ways. You either want to be the fixer and you want to have this beautiful marriage that like completely deters from whatever you experience growing up and create this beautiful family environment, or you detest the idea of marriage and go away from it. More so, I thought I was doing that, but I...

...think secretly I'm doing the thing where I want to fix it. Yeah, right, very safe. Your complex eldest daughter vibes right, but that's dangerous. I think the thing is is that the thing I oppose is the wedding industrial complex. What I oppose is like when we see mid and late twenties women who are just like I'm dress shopping, help me and all these these influence of culture of like help me pick of then you hen's night, blah, blah, blah. Like I fucking can't with that stuff. Yeah, like I oppose weddings more than marriage. Yeah, but like I think that if I like, if I'm being honest, I like the idea of a wedding because it's like you get all the people you love into a room and you celebrate love and like, fundamentally, that doesn't I know you hate that, but that's like a really nice idea. Yeah, and I know a lot of people like that. That was just a joke when I made the Voman but like people who are Lope people. There's like a there's so many types of commitments. Also, my mom is a wedding celebrant, so I have a particular view and that's contextually like that prejudice is my view as well because, like, yeah, the majority of weddings my mom does are like really small, like ten to fifteen person weddings at home in the backyard and things like that. It's like really nice. Yeah, but I think the thing is is that, like all of us see divorce and all of us see these relationship issues and how, like you just put up with each other ball and chain. You know, men marry because it's convenient for them and all the benefits it provides them legally and blah, Blah Blah. And when you hear all this, it's really hard to be positive about this idea. But it's like when you see a great couple and they want to do that, I think it's a lovely thing. HMM. But how often do we see that? What I see is people like talking about each other's dresses and the food that was certain, whether they had spirits and not at the open bar and like Blahba Blah, Blah Blah, and it's like fuck off, yeah, I can't fucking I don't fucking care about how much money you spent. The other thing is I'm not really there yet. I'm twenty three. My friends aren't getting married yet, so it's like I haven't been going to a lot of weddings, you know, like some people I know like going like five or six a year, and I'm like, Jesus Fuck, that's expensive. Like wishing well and what you do for gifts and how are you travel and what you pay in it. It's just this like competitive spending and I fucking hate it. Right. But also like if I never get married,...

...that's fine, but if I did, I'd really like it. Yeah, and I'd make it like very personal and, like we're talking earlier, like I have very specific ideas on like proposals and engagements and things, and I'm just very like the people. Like the things I hate about wedding culture and marriage culture is like the idea of like when they're going to put a ring on it and like I'm waiting and like I'm making suggestions and when we go on this trip, is he going to propose? And that culture that I see a lot of on ticktock breaks me the fuck out. I'm like, if you have to ask or hint, like there are bigger questions to be had, like I hope I never feel like that. Yeah, and again, I know that this is an overreaction. Probably a lot of people listening to going to think this is like extreme views, but I don't think it's something that's talked about and I think this is one of the topics that in five years will get to more where we're at now. For once ever had biggest thing. I don't understand why marriage is the thing that stuck around and like, and I just while you were talking, I was thinking, like at the end of the day, like I weddings that the like capitalism, the overspend, the waste, the expectations on people, the pressures from family and friends and everything. I just hate all of that, like it's just so gross to me and like I'm opposed to every single element of that completely about like and I think that's you know, when you go look at the more traditional wedding, like I think that there are lots of people who have a wedding that's like very true to them and it's kind of exist outside of like societal pressures and like, I guess on the outset, if I weren't if I were to look at that, I think, well, that's quite nice. Like I don't have I'm not just like, oh my Godd a wedding. Ye, disgusting, but it's just like all of the the stuff that we have tells stuff, because you you're a minimalist in that way. Yeah, but like, okay, I'm having wedding. I've invited twenty people. You're one of them. Would you go? Of course I would. Oh, I would never not go. But would you hate it?...

No, would you like it? I don't really like. Um, well, okay, but it's a come. It's hard because I don't like groups of people. But it's not. But like, I don't like groups of people, but I like, would like to be at your wedding. You know, people not, because it's not about your commitment of love on one of the biggest days of your life. I don't like groups. A pretty bull exactly. I would make sure that really good vegan options. Thank you, Queen. So, yeah, like all of that, all of that stuff and money and like excess that comes with wedding culture. I hate that. I don't like the religious element of marriage, obviously, but I don't really necessarily. You know, a lot of people like I think it is a feminist for like a sect of feminism that says like that marriage is just like enslaving to a man. I actually don't agree with that. That's not my reason why I don't like marriage. I don't like love the idea of the government being involved in your relationship. Like, to me I'm just like, why not, Your Business. But soon. Are All very valid points and things I agree with. Yes, I think the fundamental thing here is is that I agree with everything you've said. HMM, but to me it's like, if it happens, I'd like it. Well, I say, you would never do it, but that's the did that's that's the thing. Like in terms of like, and my more aggressive views are about like the spend and waste of the wedding industry and the societal pressures to get married. I hate that it is still a default that we get married. Yeah, I don't like that. Weddings and marriage is still so fucking straight boring. I don't like that. Again, religion, don't love. Hate, sorry, sorry, government, government getting involved, don't love. So all of that stuff outside like, I don't like any of that on its own. But then when we're looking at like the actual like if the you know, piece of paper is important to people or for some reason it makes them feel...

...like they're taking a step in their relationship, that's important. I don't think that's awful for other people, I think. I just don't. It just does not relate to me. I can't make sense of it at all in my mind. And the reason why I'm so passionate about it is because people always fucking talking about it. Yes, and like that's the thing that makes me really angry is, like I've said to so many people, not interested in getting married and people a kind of like you can just see that they're like, well, not yet. Yeah, and it's kind of like well, you know, fuck off, like it's not I don't care. And people have said to me, well, isn't it nice to like this idea of like declaring your love for one another in front of all like your family and friends? Like, what the Fuck, sorry, doesn't know anyone else's business. I would actually try to cancel the kiss in front of my family. Yeah, yeah, I just don't. I decide. I'm like and the fact that people always like trying to enforce their views. That's the stuff that I hate. I mean if someone has like a non typical wedding, that's like true to them and they're like doing genuinely what they want to do, that's not being influenced by society, I have a problem. Yeah, no, and this is the thing. I completely agree with you. Yeah, but I but I just I just don't like that it's the default. No, agreed, and I don't like that. These conversations are really controversial. I'm surprised that they are. Yeah, I'm surprised that they are, and it's like I get it, like I totally understand the commitment and the wants to. I think it's because it's normal, like people's like they're missing something. But I also worried that and it dogs can be like this, houses can be like this, marriage can be like this, kids can be like this. Don't plug it, don't plug your relationship if you have a problem. Yeah, if you need to, if you think it'll just be better once you do this little to be better. That's what I worry about for people, and I think it's because I've seen it happen. I don't mean it's everyone. But, like, I understand that. I understand your view completely and I agree with it and I don't again, take it a leave it, I don't care either way. Yeah, but I think it's a good conversation to be having, because I am surprised. I think it's...

...because I get really I feel like we hit a certain age and we see women start to just transitioned into this culture of it. Yep, and I don't want to be part of that. Yeah, I don't part of that. I don't want to go to weddings and feel like it's a competitive because it feels competitive. Yeah, and I'm scared of that. I also think that a lot of the time, and I can't, and I always say this, people don't actually talk to me about marriage very much because I think they're scared. But I'm going to jump down their throat, which I fucking will try me, I um. But I think that there's also this like idea of like, particularly women who are just who are genuinely happy, but not being married to their partner who like maybe they live together or there you know, obviously committed for the long term in some other way. I like making some kind of crazy statement like I'm just fucking living my life. Yeah, I think what's tragic is this like tie them down, yeah, like ball and chain, like lock it in, like and this idea that's like, you know, it's disgusting to me, fucking foul, this idea that the bucks party or the Hensnart is like the last night of freedom or like the last single night. Mate, you haven't been single exactly. Cannot fuck anyone. Yeah, what are you fucking talking about? I fucking hate that culture. Yeah, God, it's foul and I don't like that at all. I also think that this one might be Kundry of a Shal because I think that sometimes like a reaction to hmm, am I just saying this to be spicy? Maybe I'm just going to say it anyway. I think of a kind of like a like reaction and rejection of the whole like wedding thing, is, people are loping. But then for me, I'm like, you're just playing into it. No, but I'm like, well, what's the point then? Oh, no, I do know. I like you against that, Pullie, because I'm like that is like the one thing you're saying is it's a declaration of a lot, like the saying, why would I want to claim my love and fund of Family and friends? Well, that's a declaration of love, but just the two of you, it's very intimate and private. I don't get I like that. It's weird. I don't why. I think that's the most I the most genuinely, not the...

...most genuine, but I think it's I think it says something significant about the nature of your relationship. That's more suited to me, probably purely because, like, I'm quite private with intimacy. HMM, yeah, HMM. I don't know how I feel about it. My Mom told me she would be very disappointed me if I ever but I think that's kind of why it's beautiful in a way. It's such a betrayal. Wow, that's so tragical I just said. But like it's going against whatever one would want, which is a free bar into what she kissed wants. True, I actually do like going against whatever I wants, but I mean not getting married, as already do. That's what I was going to say. You'd actually be playing more into what they want to feel a Lope. Yeah, exactly that, Queen. No, I won't. Don't worry. I just think that if you are looking to get married. All I have some kind of wedding thing, then I just think you'd like need to know why you're doing that. I disagree with myself about the eloping being the most genuine thing. Just FYI. I mean I said that not you know, but I don't agree with it. I just think it's like a very specific kind of commitment when you do it by yourselves, like going to the courthouse, blah, blah, blah. But then I'm like, to me, it's more about the celebration of love as opposed to the document. Yeah, well, a lot of people say it's selfish. What your thoughts about that? About it all oping? No, but also I think marriage is a selfish act really. Well, the act of getting married. Are saying I'm going to commit to you forever in front of everyone. So that's an act that's just saying like here's us on display, saying we want to do this and we want everyone to watch. Right, I think married, I think weddings are about the guess. Honestly, well, it's like funerals are about the living. Yeah, I think marriage is, but that's because it's not that it's not really celebration of their life. It's about making other people feel better. Yeah, yeah,...

I don't. I go to funerals and I'm like, you're just talking about this person to make yourself feel better and from this really weirdly skewed perspective you have of them that you glorify and death, but you're not really talking about them the way they probably want to be talked about or perceived, and I don't like that. It's just about you. Yeah, I just think that weddings become about the peeple, the people pleasing that are married. Yeah, so how is a loping selfish? Then we know this is no, I didn't think it is by some people think people say that. But so that is exactly how point we agree. Yeah, so, so, if weddings are about the if the you're understanding is that the weddings are about the wedding is about the guests that are loping a selfish because you've robbed the guests and the family from witnessing your commitment to one another. Only person that selfish to wedding is the guest. Really, Yep, crazy girl, I just think that. I that mean that's a weird thing. So I know I completely disagree with myself. Just then I said, well, weddings are a selfish act. Yeah, but then I said the guests are all selfish. Yeah, in response to what I said. So what is your truth thought? WHO's the selfish one? Who is it about? It's never supposed to be about the guest. It's supposed to be an I think it's supposed to be the people getting married being selfish and saying we're going to do this, whether it's in front of no one or everyone, this is about us. It's our moment in the sun and it's about our love, right. That's why I think it is. And when it's about the guests, and I think the guest think it's for them, that's the first mistake. You're being invited to witness a commitment or you're not, and it's not fucking about you. My one thing is I fucking resent more than anything when people feel expected to invite specific people. Oh yeah, it's awful. You have no right to witness that and if you are invited, that is a fucking privilege. That's my whole I mean, I wouldn't go that far. Yes, it is. I would be spies invited someone's wedding. I, like you, want me there to witness that. That's so special really, because I think that sometimes, and I'm not speaking about all weddings, obviously, but I think that sometimes it's about like people are invited to like witness the grand you are...

...yeah, but that's that's what I'm saying. It's wrong that they're invited for that. I'm I despise the grand your so don't write me for that. Yeah, exactly. I just think that that's all fucked weddings. Lulla, I actually really hate wedding. I think there's a lot of weddings that we don't see and know about because they just done. Yeah, the ones we see in here, which take up the majority of the space, O the worst. Do you know? Okay, how do you feel about people who like basically fuck all the traditions off and like still have a wedding and it's like, but we're going to reclaim and we're not doing I'm not wearing what and I'm not getting my dad should walk me down the aisle and not doing this, not doing that. What your thoughts? I would like to start by saying that I think that a lot of people think it's subversive to have no one walked them to walk them down the aisle. Will have both their parents welcome down the aisle. If that's as far as it goes, that's not subversive. Sorry, spacey. Yeah, like you're reclaiming and aspect to the wedding, but that's not like empowered, like, that's not just like it right. Think most women do that also, because have you met Dad's? They're fucking awful. Sorry, speak for yourself. My Dad will be like saying to this, you are not if I ever like, I'm sorry to happy for you have to find out this way, but you are not going to be doing it. I'll be by myself. Neither of you are giving me a way to anyone. Have you not mentioned this before? Never, listen fucking clearly, Michael, clearly, I walk myself. I came out of the womb an eighty year old woman. No one is giving me away. I'm not a possession, I'm not an object and I've been my own persons, and so I was like for I'm basically Matilda, but without all like the traumatizing adoption stuff. That's it. Sorry, and he's going to text me about this really upset. Those are the facts. Don't guy the Bible stop. Yeah, I don't. I like subversive acts. MMM, I don't think it should stop at the walking that they are. I don't think that's controversial. I don't think that's weird. I think most people do that. Now. Sorry, it's not the controversial statement you think it is. That's a fact. HMM. I think that when people don't wear...

...white and do whatever, it's like the point of a wedding is that it, I think, in Modern Day, right, two thousand and twenty two, doing it the way you want to do it as the most powerful thing. HMM. So do whatever you want. I like it. Yeah, the guard of thing I just found out about. Oh yeah, sweet, that's weird. All that's weird. All the religious attached with that's a thing. Rarely are people doing it for true religious reasons. Right, I just want to do it. So, like, why follow the steps? I just think that it's kind of sometimes, if I'm going to be really aggressive, which I always am, I think that sometimes when people try to like flip every single normal thing on the head, I'm just like, well, why don't you just not do it? MMM. But that again, that's from my perspective of like no marriage, no wedding, I'm trying to think. I respond to you because, like, you know how the tradition is. You know? Do you know the trution of bridesmaids? Know, they were traditionally dressed just like the bride because back when marriage was like invented, I guess it was like the woman would be kidnapped to marry a man and then the bridesmaids were like decoys so that if someone came to try and rescue her from kidnapping, they wouldn't know which one she was. Jesus fuck. So this is the thing, like with weddings and, like you could say, with marriage as well. Maybe I would say that it's like this is how this shit started. Why the fuck would you want to be part of it? You're breaking me. I'm being sorry, I'm being I kind of feel bad, but I was so think you should feel about it. Is your opinion. Don't know. No Shame, I'm just saying it's like I feel like my energy is draining because I'm like, Oh, you're right, I hate that, and like the giving away, because I think that's a good example, because you're right. I how do people do it? The because the idea is that you're because you're going from being your dad's property to your husband's property. Actually, this is trick of me. One of the most controversial questions we ever put up on cheek. I've never seen so many people respond, was when I asked whether the your partner asked your parents for permission. HMM, and so many, and I really did do think the...

...question really came down to. Is this about your views on feminism or in your view of your family, because a lot of people who love their family will like, I like the gesture that they asked. Sorry, what? Yeah, like, I mean I get it in a lot of families. If you like, like the fact that your partner asked. But it's like, I am not a possession. Yeah, I'm not being sold for twelve goats, probably eighteen. I'm worth a lot more than that. But like, when I think about these things, I'm just like, committely skip those parts. Yeah, I'm not here to police anyone on their views. And you know, if that's really sweet to you in a mental lot short thing, but like maybe it's because I fucking don't like my parents like that and I would be offended if my partner, whoever that may be, asked parents. I bet you don't know me at all. Yeah, exactly. That's the thing. And I also think that, like if I had a child and then someone wanted to marry them and then that person asked like, especially if they just ask my partner, who's a man, what the fuck is that about? I'd be like, no, you can't, you do not have for my support, because how dare you good? My child is not your property or our property. They're just a person, just a person who owns themselves. Why? You just ask the actual person permission by asking if they want to marry you. Yeah, why does there any swee anything else done? Do you want to marry me? That's permission, all admission. You need yes or no. And if you're fucking stupid with picking rings, just ask one of their friends, for Fuck's sake. Abolish Rings, Abolish Rings, but no, I like them. Abolish this, we abolish God and of Pine. A pardon. If you didn't find us a completely insufferable come back next Wednesday for a new episode. Could also find us on instagram at cheek media co or online cheek Mediacom to day. You, yes, but fla, that's the one.

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