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The Weekly Cheek
The Weekly Cheek

Episode · 5 months ago

66. What makes a bad friend?

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we're talking about what makes a bad friend, and discuss our listeners' friendship red flags. 

Find us online at cheekmedia.com.au and on socials @cheekmediaco

Hello, I'm Christen Parison Otto and I'm hard of Ferguson and where, Co founders of Cheek mediac this is the weekly Cheek podcast. No sleep schedule. Someone who said, Oh, that's chaotic as fuck. I will still be their friend, though, I know. But you're like, well, if you don't do this, everone will die. Yeah, that's how I say. You. See, the thing about me is that I'm very annoying. Okay, before we start this podcast, I would like to acknowledge that we are on lands of their truble and Yagara people here in the engine, and we acknowledge their elders, past, present and imaging. Welcome back to the weekly cheek. Welcome today. I'm going to take anything. You took it away. You can take it away. We're do what are we doing today? Talking about what makes a bad friend. So this week on the Instagram, I asked a question and that was poach scrambled off Friday X. just kidding. I also I did ask that my mom. I know they are supposed to be anonymous. My Mama said one in which is where she never contributes to Theay, okay, in quotations. Oh, I don't drink coffee. End of quotations. WHO DOESN'T DRINK COFFEE? With like three question masks and three exclamations, ha, ha ha. I love the other been like covert and yielding expectations. One is my mother, like clock, doesn't drink coffee. That it's particulars. My Mom's the kind of mom that has like a coffee mug. It's like, don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Your lamest ever? Yeah, I mean, so, what do you think about that? Yes, no. Would you not be friends someone because I didn't drink off? Um, no, I don't care if they drink coffee or not, but this is the kind takes it. I took it in which I could be totally wrong. Obviously. You know, when you say to someone like, Oh, do you want to go get a coffee and the like, what, I don't drink coffee. Oh, that's problematic. It's kind of like, well, you don't drink whatever you want exactly. You can get a hot chocolate, you can get a tea, you can get a croissant, but imagine if coffee shops were like us, shout, Ha, PA, get a fucking SMOOTHIE. It's not just long blacks. Yeah, and no one's taking you like some fals of black like that. You go to a cafe, it's Brunch. Get a grip.

I think the people sort of did. Those people want to inject themselves into the like and their personal opinions into everything, like fuck exactly. And do you know why I think I have the authority to talk on this? Because I don't drink, but if someone says you want to go out for a drink, I say yeah, cool, fun. HMM, guess what, I'M gonna fucking go to the bar and get a lemonline bits like an adults, like an adult. Okay, it's good. Start Strong, start. No sleep schedule. Someone who said, Oh, that's chaotic as fuck. I would still be their friend, though, when they have no sleep schedule. I just don't think that lines up lifestyle wise. I wouldn't like if there's my partner, I'd be like you're too much for me, but a friend I'm like, I'm not like having a sleepover with you, like I don't know, we hadn't clean over. When we want to sit me don't heat. It's really naturally honest, because it was actually weird talking to you before. I just sleep lying in bed because I didn't like. We work together and we do cheek together. So it's kind of odd because we don't like why. We know pretty much most things, like there's not many things, as I haven't said to you, you know wife really, but it's still weirdly, there's a weird intimacy to going to sleep next to someone in a separate head still, yeah, there is. Also, because we were both fully tacked in all the way to the cheese. It's taking out because blank and I'm like you, look at it, look too little. I'm talking about it quite important things that like eleven pm, but we're really time. There was like pass through had at one point. You ended us. I was so sorry, and that's o kept is boring. Boring. You know a lot about their life, but they know very little about yours. Push okay. The thing for me is I'm like, I wouldn't, I don't ever like say that I'm private person, but I don't really tell people my business very often. So for me the opposite is more of a red flag when they know something about your life but you don't know anything about their life, which is, I know, hypocritical of me to say, but it is a critical and I get what you're saying, but I don't think...

...this person means it in this sense. I think that they're saying when they don't remember, Oh, I didn't consider that, like they don't ask questions. Yeah, that's a big metal collect information and retainment that don't care about. Think really kind of the difference. Like I have this friend, I used to have this friend, who didn't ever really knew all that. Know, didn't ever really know what I did for work. Like I felt like I knew things about them and I could be like how's X, Y Z, and I I'm actually worse at the big picture, better at the details, like when someone tells me something about what they're doing on the weekend or what they think about a specific thing or Boh, Blah Blah, I try to retain it and bring up in conversation to like how, like when I'm especially when I'm meeting someone new, was I think some people just like don't give a fuck and I just generally asking questions to go through the motion. Yeah, and I think that not retaining and developing and can like and I think it's because, to me, it builds a picture of who that person is and I like to know those things because I can much more easily equate where I want to be their friend or not. Yes, like when I when I ask people about very specific things about their life, I think it's so telling and it motivates me to increase or decrease my my my relationship to them and my connection to them. So it's like very important to me to ask questions. I think that something that we forget all the time. is like MENA shit had asking questions. Yeah, like it would feel like you talking to a brick wall. You like, so, what do you do for work? And they tell you and then they don't ask back and you're like fuck off, like those are suck myself this and, I will add, just going to fuck myself. It's just rude. But also, I know that some people don't really have great social skills. I think that's that's a concern for a lot of people, but asking basic questions and I think that an underrated social girl. I think I talked about this a bit, maybe not the pod, but generally, is like, I am very extroverted person. I love getting to know people much more than you, my queen. You actually I like, please never speak to me again, but something that I really like doing. I think is a an in of your skill...

...and and a life skill is not having a set of questions just in your mind but asking questions based on answers. And it sounds really easy, but most people can't do it. Yes, most people will go through like the small talk bullet points of like the weather, your job, your family, Boba. But I like to something I try to practice because I think I always get more of a conversation when I do. It is okay, they've just said an in about the cat or those sorts of specific about what they're doing on the weekend and then asking who's going to that or where is that, or they taking leave or Bobble, and just like spring boarding a bit off because it gets you so much more whole overall then going through those like classic talking points does. Yeah, I think that the biggest red flag is when there's an inequality where it's like, because I get it, if there's like two people with like a more casual friendship who like don't really talk about their lives, they just talk about like, I mean colleagues, is the perfect ones, like you know a lot about it, you know exactly what each other has done like every day that week, but you don't really know them. Yeah, but if there is like an imbalance, I think that is a red flag. Yeah, and I think that leans heavily into frinch of expectations overall. Yes, how often do you expect hang out with the level of the hang out? Is a one on one? Are you getting coffee? Are You facetiming? Like, I think that we each have very different demands and what we're looking for in different people, and I think that people can get offended when they want to be. I think, I think a sign of like not immaturity, but I think it's a lifestyle difference is when someone wants to constantly be hanging out and facetiming and have remained retaining with close friendship, when you've kind of moved on a bit. Yeah, and you're just looking for something more casual, and I think this is can be translated to relationships as well. Like you, I might be interested in ining coffee with someone once every six weeks or so. I love friends that it's like twice your let's catch up. Yeah, it's lovely, low maintenance. You're not holding anything against each other for not maintaining that maintaining those things. Yeah, lovely, but again, I don't. I hate that, like if someone's looking for a once and once every six months friendship, like it's just not really for me, and I think that that's the perfect like thing.

Like it's not that they're doing the wrong thing by me or I'm doing the wrong thing by them, it's just that we're not compatible as friends and I think that that is okay. It's just like not for you. Yeah, Su which mean toxic positivity and not respecting introvert boundaries or hate that what it? What? What do you see? Is Not respecting introvert boundaries. HMM. Well, I'll give a perfect example. I'm gonna I'm going to name you of some of your friends, not by name. So when we went to Sydney, we caught up with two of your friends, yeah, and we had dinner in the dinner was kind of cut short because the table like had another booking. Yea, and then one of your friends was like are you like totally like done for the night, or do you want to do blah, yeah, and I was like let's do blah. Yeah. That is respecting introvert Brown boundaries, I think, whereas, like, I think particularly in that's like it's a perfect scenario because it's like they live there. We were there together, your good friends with them going way back. I never met them like the situation like, say in an alternate reality, if it was like the three of you were like yeah, like let's do this long like imagine if, oh, we would love to hang out all day, and I'm just they're like her hair. Yeah, I hate this and especially because, like if, because you know that, I would hate that. And then if you just were like, but they're my friends and I want to see them, it would never be worth it to me because the whole time I would be so anxious for you. Exactly. What I think that is actually is respecting the boundaries and, like I struggle to understand extroverts like a lot, and I saw I understand that it's if you're extroverted, it might be a bit hard to understand, but I think like putting a little bit of thought into it like goes along. Like I love when people say, like are you like done? Do you want me to do? You want to go, like you want to leave because this is like it's loud in here, or like we've been hanging out for six hours. She'll be be finished. Like literally before, just before we say recording this podcast, you were like you want me to leave because kristen has a sort...

...ear iver saw it. She we talked about it, which redulize. That was it. Yes, but it's like you were like I'm struggling, and I was like, well, I can go home. Yeah, but but I know that you genuinely would be like all right, by and like you'd be out of the door and like two doesn't offend me. Yeah, because in my mind it's like really pathetic if you were like, I'm actually really struggling, I would like some alone time because I've a fucking sought ear and I can't continue this day. I'm not like, Oh my God, she she hates me, because it's otually not about that. Yeah, I am probably the most extraverted person I know, right, and I still need to cut it. Yeah, but I'm usually the cutter. Yeah, I think it. I think a good extroverts job is to be the cutter. HMM, and I think it is. And I think that the better you are extra version, the more you can identifying introverts when it's time. True, that's not because I don't think I've ever met anyone who is as aware of those things as you. Thank you. No, I think it was you that. Like, it's one of the biggest compliments I've ever saved. You said. Was that you? You said you are an introverts extrovert. Did you say that? Sounds like something I would say, but I don't have any stude. You described me as an introverts extrovert. I really oh no, it wasn't you, was Haley. Okay, I was going to say it. I told you about it because I was like, I'm so excited about this compliment. Anyway, one of my good friends describe me as an introverts extra because all of my close friends are heavily introverted. Yeah, and I think it's because I love my one on one interactions. HMM. I also, and this is totally the truth, I lived in a house of six of us, and then five of us, where I was the only extrovert. HMM, and I felt totally in control of my life because I love being the planner. I'm very much the type A and I feel like, not that introrets aren't that, but a lot of time they let me take the reins. Yeah, and even if they didn't want you. They were like, she'll just go ahead and we'll change it if she's wrong. But like it was very much like I could just lead and just step forward and be the person and no one was. I didn't feel like there was competition because we all put something difference to the table. But I felt like...

I've really safe, close relationships with each of my friends who are introverts, but also gives me the space to be like and the peacup, you know what I mean. That's awful, but it's the truth. So my partner sometimes goes away for work and I find that if he's a way for three days and I don't have plans, like, and I mean plans, is in like like I'll go to the shots and I'll go to the gym, but if I have no social plans, then by the end of the three days, when he comes home and like Oh that's nice, nice to have someone around again. It's not. It's not that I'm like, Oh my God, so alone, but if he's away for a fourth there I'm just like feeling a bit like weird, just a bit off kilter. Wow, I'm not. That's I would I would be. You'd find me dead and bugs eating me, ha ha ha. That dies from my social interaction. I think the toxic positivity in friendships is what I my initial thought when you read that was the people who like when you talk about like, Oh my God, I hate my job, I just had a break up. I'm like, everything sucks. If that is like, well, just be happy that you're healthy, go away, let me be angry. I think there is something so sick about like the someone else has it worse syndrome that people try to UNFLIP. Because, while I think that it can be a healthy way to personally remind yourself, like I like to use it to like wave a second, let's step back, I'll look at the picture. It's like just recontextualize your experience, but I think when someone else says it's like that's invalidating. Yeah, I think it's a healthy way to measure. Yeah, but I don't think it's for anyone else to inflict on you. I think it also gives the same vibes, as you know, when you're a kid and you didn't finish everything on your plate and then your parents go well, you know, look, let's mail it to that child in Africa that doesn't get it and it's like, Mum, Dad, you vote liberal. Let's not sit here and talk about the back that did finish my fucking last mouthful the peas. You didn't cook right because your suck at it. No offense.

Sorry, mom. You know, doing all the domestic household shors and working full time, that was a real nasty expectations of emotional labor. This is interesting because I think it depends on the friendship, and I think that one of my my good friends, Claudia, she I went to school with her. She is one of my closest friends and something that she is excellent at that. I don't think anyone does enough, and I think that I don't do enough definitely, is that whenever she wants to talk to me about something, she asked if I have capacity. First HMM, which sometimes I'm like, can we stop asking that, because I'm always to some expense like the capacity to something that I'm like, that's wasting power of my capacity by asking. But a lot of people aren't. Like you, though, no, because once you say that, I'm literally never going to say no MMM, because I always want to know and I think like and I get why people don't want to do it, but like I am always, I've tried to always make myself availble for emotional labor. Yeah, because it's a Labor that I can do and I think I do well. MMM. So I feel like it's a missed opportunity if I could, if I'm not better, pick up the phone. Do you hate that? Did I fuck something? You know, I just think that some problematic. No, no, not, probably, like it's not. You're not being problematic. I just think that there isn't that. That such like what. No Man would ever think that. No, I know, like when you said that, I was like that's actually so sad, not about you specifically, but like having that thought. Don't you think that's yeah, we're kind of going off on a tangent and I think it's I think it's something to talk about. I think that what's hard, as I always feel so bad putting emotional labor on others, but whenever I miss a call, I am like feeling the need to, like I usually, if I miss a call, I will immediately text them like I'm so sorry, I'm doing block and way with this time. Yeah, and I'm like really apologetic because I am like if this person needs me and I'm not available. Like I am worried about what their next option...

...is and like not saying I'm the best emotional labor and I'm the number one candidate. Yeah, but like it's just that they called you and then you're ver. Yeah, and they were seeking maybe it was something silly, maybe it was a catch up, maybe it was advice. But like to me, I'm like, well, they've. I feel it's sad, but I feel chosen and I feel like they've. In a sense, that act is like them committing to wanting something specific from me and like the communication that I might be able to provide, and it feels like a really like it feels like I'm mean intrusted with something for it even happens. Yeah, so I'm like that's important to me and I want to be there for them, and I'm I've not always been like that. I think I'm getting better at being a good friend. Yep, especially to people that like this purpose person I'm talking about, who always asked like she's always been a better friend to me than I have to her. So to me it is like fuck every time I miss it. Yeah, yeah, anyway, were you. We got be right we went off on a tangent. I just derail that is always at your whole thought. Yeah, I hope see. The thing is for me I'm always the one, not always in friendships or relationships where that is unequal. I'm always the one shouldering most of the emotional labor. But that is most, if not all, of your relationships. It's that true. I'm when the ones that are uneven. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say I mean I guess it's like it kind of like waxes and waynes throughout my life, but I always feel like I'm the like you are the stable. Yes, stable. I was like, what is that working? Like all the very solid life raft in yaction. Yes, and because because I'm like lucky to have really good mental health, my upbring is very good. Blah, blah, blah, whatever disclaimers. But also it's like that's a privilege point. So you also feel compelled to do those things because of those things. Yes, I'm trying to get away from that. It's not working very well. It's an ongoing strugg at all. That's what I have to...

...bear, a burden, what that demanded. But but I have two shoulder. I was touching my shoulders, the shit, the that is the burden that I'm a shoulder. But also I'm a very like. I'm a person that, if you ask me for advice, I'd be like do this, like I'm a very like this or that, this is going wrong, fix it, that has happened, do this to react. And I know that a lot of people don't work like that, but that's how I work and I think that a lot of times when people come to me for advice, they want me to be like, do this, even though when they don't do it, I get very angry. Well, here's the thing. I see that as a helpful thing, but I see you as a very black and white person. I am so I'm actually wayless like. I'm much more shades of great than I was like four years ago. So just imagine. No, I know, I can even see the change in like even the time I've known you. Yeah, not saying that there's anything wrong with it, but saying that I think that when people are actually one of the things that I will say that you're very good at, I love I said, I will say like I wouldn't admit to I say, since your pressuring me, can you see the knife that's held at the back of my neck help people. You are good at asking people if what they're seeking is advice or just someone to talk to. Oh, thank you, but you know you do that. So I didn't know that I did doche advice without consent or prompt hmm, you are like I'm trying to get you. Often try can tell. I'm trying to gage what the other person needs. Yeah, and I think that you have this gear switch between I'm just bouncing board and I'm here to provide an outcome. Yeah, but the thing with when people want advice from you is I think that you see one option only. Yes, when there are more options, there's always more option, I know, but you're like, well, if you don't do this, everyone will die. Yeah, that's how I say you it. I't like that is not efficient. It's because that's how I feel in my own life, like it's really hard to I mean it's so hard to like, well, actually, I was going to say it's so hard to give advice you wouldn't follow it. Everyone know that, but I like in my opinion, like when I have...

...decisions to make, I do struggle with opinion, with decisions, big decision because I'm like it's this or that, but that's it. It's just not, I know, but I can't. I don't want to Keete that, but I don't see the other options. What do you what do you want? You know, because in some at some stage, I decide that it's it's like yes or no, all or nothing. Yeah, you do have an all nothing mentality. I don't really am working on it, though. I have a problem with all or nothing in circumstances that are very dangerous, like when it comes to like the way I like. I'm very competitive. I'm like if I lose a game of something, I'm like, well, that's fucking it's like things like that. That's not dangerous. Obviously, fucking Mario Kart. But like you, I mean like when it came to eating in school, it was like, well, if I ate one thing wrong, it was very all and nothing mentality and approach to diet culture in the wood, that which can be very dangerous. And especially with drinking as well, I'm like either not drink at all or I'm drunk. Not One drink. Yeah, it's never I'm trying to overcome these things that are quite toxic. Yeah, whereas I think that when it comes to advice, I'm very willing to think about all the options. Also because, and I think it's a really good scene in fleaback, if you haven't watched it, where you've been hiding, in season two, when her dad gives at the give voucher for the counseling session. She goes to the counseling session and there's this bit at the end of the counseling session where the therapist says you already know what you're going to do. HMM, and I think that's that was a really long and leading anecdote to the lamb's line, ever, but I think the point being when we're talking to people and they're seeking advice, they're not really seeking advice, they're seeking our opinion on what they would do or the advice they would give, in order to understand if they've perceived the options as correct. Yes, and I'm like happy to admit I'm quite intolerant of that. Yes, I know, but that's okay. Yeah, I can't understand that. You're devoting time and energy to helping this person. They just don't take it. Yeah, it's ridiculous and I find that personally offensive. I got what you mean, because I very annoy you. I've advised me of things...

...and I'm like, what the fuck? I would be literally ever do that and I can see it killing him inside that I but I also know that about you. See, the thing about me is that I'm very annoying. So if you are not, if I give in this context, I am. If I give it hies and someone doesn't take the advice and then the thing that they do ends them up, you're and I told you so. Yes, you're okay, I don't. Once I said, can you please not do the I told you so, because I know I actually wasn't going to do it that time. You said that. I remember what it was aboutn't and what it was about either, and you said I wasn't under that time, but I thought that was lie. Why? But sometimes I'm like and, but the thing is I always think it every time. It's just that I usually decide whether I'm going to say it or not, but then I like go to someone else and be like and then they did this, which is not what I said to do, and then this happened. Who could have predicted that? It's my flock catch line wop, but could have predicted this. Well, I for being really annoying. No, I get it, but I think that people have to sometimes make the wrong decision because they need to explore that option for it to fail, because it's a preferred option and they know the likelihood is. But here's my other thing. When the advice is about other people, we actually don't know how they're going to react. Not being able to have healthy confrontation. This is a really hard one because I don't like any confrontation. That's so funny because you're literally the price. Think the first friend I've ever had where we will like argue. Yeah, I know, and I hate every second. Do you actually yes, it makes me so uncomfortable. Really had yes, Oh, I thought it was fun. Sorry, Queen. No, I think that the first five minutes can be fun, but it has to stop early. But as usually don't go on for that long. No, and they're also not about things that are to do with us. Yeah, it's always about like the very intricate and niche political arguments. I'm kind. I want to tell his anecdote. When we're in Sydney last weekend and we went to this session and it was with I think I explained last episode, but it was with cement...

...the maiden from new to coms day. You Michael Bradley, the lawyer for the woman who made an allegation against Christian Port U, Kate Kate, and she's died, and Joe Diet who was kate's close friend, and it was hosted by Julia Bird from the ABC. Now the one our talk session that we went to. There was some conflict between the panelists and it was definitely Joe Dia and Michael Bradley against or cement the maiden against them. There was clearly some tension and some confrontation and afterwards Chris and I left the Opera House to get some food and we stood overlooking the water and Kristen screamed, screamed at me about what she thought about the session. It was because we went outside and you know, if you have you can live stream the event if you're interested in it was excellent. I would recommend watching it. But one of the things we were talking about, which was my clear point, was that I think we agreed that Cemantha maiden, whilst was definitely playing the the devil's advocate in a sense. Yes, I think she had a really clear role and the talk the panel was made good because of the tension she brought to the discussion. Agree and while I don't agree with all of her points, I think eighty percent of it was a valid commentary and I think that it really made the talk anyway. We got really wound up, both of us, because we had some very and it was like funny because we find I was to agree about that position, right, yeah, but then the intricate details within that about what was said, we would not agreeing on. But also that's where we thrive in that environment. We do because I like West. We agree on this on the fundamental yeah, it's always when there's the specifics, but the specific mechanics of the chat and the dialog, when we fight about that as perfect, because it's actually not going to end anything right. It's a very healthy way to debate and usually we can understand each other's perspective, yes, and we're still like more, and then it ends up speading like well, you're wrong and someone's willing to move. Another person isn't always right. It's usually you that don't move, and I'm like okay, and you know why that is? Not Because I agree, because I...

...don't like confrontation interesting. Yeah, and I wanted to end so badly that I'm like sure, Christian, let's go against Gelato. I thought I was just more aggressive, you thought. Do you think your point of view was better and I was the one? I mean, I always think my point of views better. Same, I'm just scared. But the like the thing that we are and you mostly do it when we're having these like intricate, like meaningless honestly, most of the time you're like we're a green. Yeah, agree. I always get back to that point because we're always coming from the same position and we end up elsewhere, but we are agreeing. Yeah, now Christian was yelling. In time, I've started to end my confrontation on my competacial pasty was winding down, so I got my phone out inside scrolling while Christian was yelling, and it was like she was going sort of at the Harvard Free I wasn't yelling. Sorry, I was finding a snory like that. Yeah, I just want to know that. I'm not like and he's yelling. Actually, water know, but the way I would envision it is like I was like yeah, yeah, and I was sort of scrolling through tick Tock and Christ. It was like I just think, I just it was like me in the Emrada episode yes, or the Bachelor episode, and I finally just starting to like, I'm starting to shut down my vital organs. Yeah, anyway, then the most amazing thing happened. I pretty much died someone who listened to this podcast and I didn't ask your name, even that I'm in love with you. Yeah, I'm sorry, we didn't ask your name. wherey bit, I was will yell all over the place and she approached us with her mom. was like high's what my mom like. I was going to come over, but my mom's that I should. I Love Your podcast and we've never been had anyone approachest before and I pretty much this lovely woman was coming to talk to us and I was probably more excited than her. And then I was like the thought for me was we're standing there yelling, both of us aside different incremented and volumes, and she's probably been sitting there like should I go over, and she's just seen us like throwing hands bridge and this lovely conversation, and then we I was...

...like, what do you think about that talk? And then him I was agreeing with their mom yeah, she was more agree with you, like those excellent conversation, but the visual of US having this a weird confrontation brother between the offer and I was doing gestures. Anyone who watches the video of the pod noose, I do gestures and I'm angry, but it's just like, I think that's a hilarious one. Back to the point. Healthy confrontation is good. Here's the problem for me. I have five minutes of capacity for confrontation. Over that I become so uncomfortable that I begin to form a deep eight interesting like if we keep going and pushing the line, it will go from me being upset about the point to upset. Okay, so it's outside of the argument then and I become like why are you doing this to me, and it becomes more about our friendship to me. Yeah, unhealthy, but it's the truth. Yeah, I find it hard to have a conversation that can remain healthy for longer than that because I find that I get wound up and then I'll say something or do something that I'll regret, and so I have to manage that. Yeah, I do get that. I think it's just because we we don't usually go past five minute not that I've not really ever noticed that, but then sometimes. So there's the way I my brain works is like I then go away and think about it and I'm just like, I can't believe she thought that, not e like a not in a horrible way, but just been like unpacking it. Yeah, and then, like I think naturally when you have a disagreement or like a debate or something, you're like, this is what I should have said. MMM. And so then sometimes I'll come back, like the next day and I'd be like I got something for you. Clean get a deference and your face every time, like you do the face, and I'm like, not being mean, but it's not because I'm like I'm going to beat Hannah. It's usually because I would present. It's hugely. To me. I'm like it's a fucking nasty it's coming out because also to me, what that communicates is, and this is an insecurity of mind. Sorry for interrupting, but this is an insecurity mind where I'm like in my mind, I'm like she's gone home, yeah, and sat there and thought this dumb, stupid fuck, and...

...it's my fear that you've had those thoughts about me. Yeah, nominated and you being like you are butt. AM amusingly fool and I get all defoctive, but I'm like, what the fuck up, even though that none of that's true and you're actually just ruminating on the point. Yes, yeah, it's because I'm always looking to strengthen my own argument. Yeah, well, it's hardest strength in your own angement when you're wrong. So fundamentally, we never come to each other's like, if we're being honest, we never come around to each other's point of view. No, O, I I don't think. I'm trying to think of a scenario one of us is fundamentally changed. No, I think there are occases, but they never go for that long. That's why I think it's health to do the five minute thing. Yes, you're never going to agree. Yeah, we also don't do it on Messenger anymore because how ITA's upset. I get really upset. But exactly? We tell you, guys about that time that Christensenna nasty message a light. It took me twelve minutes to climb down, but I loved it because not nasty. Sorry, it to me it was, but I can't remember what it wasn't even know I was about. If you didn't find us a completely insufferable come back next Wednesday for a new episode. Could also find this on instagram at cheek media co or online cheek Mediacom. To date you. Yes, the thought, that's the one.

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