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The Weekly Cheek
The Weekly Cheek

Episode · 7 months ago

60. Which feminist ideas can't you get behind?

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we've taken to Instagram to ask our followers about the feminist ideas they can't get behind. We're talking man-hating, body hair, and nudity.

Find us online at cheekmedia.com.au and on socials @cheekmediaco

Hello, I'm Christ and Parison Otto and I'm hard of Ferguson and where, Co founders of Cheek mediac this is the week with cheek podcast. Hating men arguably not feminist, but some think it is. Refusing to shave your pits isn't a middle finger to the patriarchy, it's ill. So many times you like read something in the news or you hear something that a friend tells you and you just like, what the fuck is with men? But I don't want to see a penis when I'm walking down the street. Before we set the PODCAST, I would like to acknowledge that we are on the unseated lens of the Yagora and terrible people here in me engine. Cheek me to co fully endorses the ULARU statement from the heart, which would put a first nation's voice in the constitution, so it would be there forever and can't be changed by conservative governments or any governments. And I would like to acknowledge the elders of the Yaga and trouble people past, present and emerging. All right, so in today's episode we have a bit of a spicy one. We do so pole. It wasn't a pulled fun question. Well, I'm not question. Yes, no, yeah, wait, please give us an if you one percent said yes, okay, by show one today. So the question box was what's a feminist or progressive idea you just can't get behind? Now, I'm not going to read all of these. Some of them hurt me. Yes, some of them are just what rude. It's not my place to be hurt. We opened the floor. HMM. We got a lot of anonymous answers. Yeah, thank you for contributing. Yes, but it's not productive to conversation to discuss some of these. Yeah, so I'm going to start with one targeted. It in my queen, letting underarm hair grow out just not for me. Now, a couple people said this refusing to shave your pits isn't a middle finger to the patriarchy. It's ill in brackets. You Do? You though, interesting first the you do though. First of all, yes, it fucking is a middle finger to the patriarchy. Yes, because women only shave their hair because of the patriarchy. So you're wrong. And also, I have hairy under arms. If you're looking on video, I got my arms are so I don't know if this was specifically targeted at me. I'm obsessed with the patriarchy. I shaved my armpits all the time. I love the patriarch. I want to uphold I love them. I keep these still be s just just for you boys. No, I don't. It's because I am absolutely affected social I I am absolutely socialized to want to be hairless except for my beautiful head. So, okay, I'm going to try and not be that aggressive through out of character for me, but you must understand that this is like because I have hairy arm pits, like, I do feel mildly targeted by this. So when it was like it's not like there were was one that was like I just don't want to see it on anyone. It was like I don't like Harry under arms.

I don't want to see it on anyone. Okay, I don't fucking care what you want to see, to be honest, like it's about it's my body, they're my under arms. Why the fuck would I care about what kind of under ever you want to see on me? Like I just think that kind of it's just the the whole, like this rhetoric that's like, Oh, well, you do you, I just don't want to see it it's just like fuck off. Well, I think I don't care what you want to see. I actually think I'm this. Sorry, I'm not saying these are the same, but I think it's a similar conversation to like, I think ten years ago I would hear a lot of Atart from people like my parents age and their friends, like you know, I don't. I don't a problem with gay people. I just want to see it. Yeah, that's very much the sort of conversation people having and now it's like that's fucking unacceptable. Exactly what it was exceptable back then, but socially, yeah, we could say that without fear of retribution. Yeah, right. I think it's the same with body here. Men feel a need to say like well, put it away. Yeah, it's like I think I see a lot in my algorithm on instagram and decaying. Now I'm starting to see more like women at the beach with pubic hair out. MMM, and and I will I would first admit the one I see it. Sometimes I'm like Oh yeah, because it's unusual. Is Unusual and I'm like Oh my God, and then I say I literally the Atherthm gives it to me because I'm like interesting and don't know. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, and I also get, like, I think it's like a Verra Post, a lot of this sort of content when they'll post like Um, shaving rash and things. Yeah, it's like normalizing, which is interesting. I mean I don't know, but I also get ads like laser hair removal and things, and I don't do that. So it's like very I guess, so many ads for shaving real hell, fuck off. Yeah, I just think it's like to picture. Yeah, probably like she. Yeah, exactly, target her. I just it's just like go away, it's not about you. Okay, here's don't. If you like Silky smooth under arms, then shave your own fucking under arms. Also, the one that said like I don't like seeing it on anyone. I don't know if you're speaking about men as well. They're not. Exactly. When you I have I honestly cannot think of any time in real life or online that I've ever seen a man with shaved under arms. So you're not fucking talking about men. Jim and like athletes that like shave it food, like purpose of bodybuilding. Yeah, all like is swimming. They usually fully shaved to like so that hair does yeah, you're probably right. I don't think I've, but I don't think like in terms of like an arm UN exposed under arm on a man, I don't think I've ever seen a smooth one. But here's the thing. I mean agree, agree, agree, problematic, but we were asking the question and I I think that these people that are saying this are not saying it generally. Yeah, I think that they've. We've asked and they've said it. So I'm always taking these ants of the grend of slope because I don't think that these people who follow us are going out to the world like a fucking hate body hair. Oh yeah, I did have something more productive to say. I've had my right now. Unfortunately, you have been socialized to...

...believe that women need to have their body hair a certain way and I think that is a sad and diamond on society and I think that to an extent it is not the fault of the individual. But like, if anyone ever said, if anyone ever said something about my under arms, I would personally blame them. I wouldn't be like, well, it's okay because you've just like if they said it to my face, I wouldn't be like, oh well, that's okay. Could you seen socialize? I be like, why don't you go fuck yourself? Well, I just think one of these things is like you don't have to say anything exactly. You can think what I don't want to hear it is I don't give a fuck how many people think about my under arms. So I don't care. It's in your head, it's not bothering me. That's the thing. It's going to help you if you're confident enough exactly, care enough to vocalize it to you. Like it's not going to change, yeah, only only to inflict exactly. I think that when you have these ideas, it's you should take some time and reflect on why you have them. Caitlin Jenna witning woman of the year. I mean, didn't she run someone over in her car? Killed someone with a car? That's why I don't think that she should win a woman of the year. I think a lot of the critique is because she's a trans woman. That's Transferrabi. Yeah, but in terms of like being woman of the year, what the fuck has she done? It was a screens marriage quality, wasn't she? Yeah, so that's that's more the reason these are so good. I underestimate them, because that was less, but the high quality. Okay, hating men arguably not feminist, but some think it is. How hate controlling you equals, they won. I don't agree with the hate controlling you equals. They won, but I do think that hating I think maybe. HMM, it's a tough one because I like make a lot of jokes about like stupid men, but I'm jokes about hating all men to. Yeah, but I'm actively trying to not make those jokes, but I just find them really funny sometimes. Here's the thing. I don't think it's productive. I think it's just an out like and what's that bird? An outlet. Yes, yeah, two things from me. If you hate men, I don't care. You do like if I like, I think a lot of people who've experienced sexual violence, domestic violence, perfectly within their rights to not trust a gray dislike men, yes, and not accept them or welcome and into their lives. Yeah, and that's fine. That's fine to be. Will be what you want to be. Yeah, I just like most men, not all men, though, not all men, but I would say, like you know, when we talk about like one of my favorite Comedians, he's quite serious, though, I would recommend going on watching some of u stuff on Netflix because he has really insightful like, I feel like the end of his comedies always like a Ted dock daniels loss, and I went and saw his show at the ore the powerhouse, few years ago, and I think one's on HBO and Prim or whatever, so you can watch it. But one of the things he talks about is rape culture and he has his big spiel about its men's jobs to do something, because if it's only women having the conversation, like we're fucked. Yeah, and he was...

...like one of my friends raped another one of my friends and I he was like I knew this man for eight years and I knew when it happened. I believed her because I thought there were signs. And he said and I've like I can't forgive myself. And he said like it's not all men, but if it's one in ten and we're not doing anything about the one, then it's all of us sort of thing. Yeah, really powerful. It's not one in ten, it's more than that. I can wholeheardly say that fucking like this is the thing I think that we, like I say most people, go is it really most, I don't mean most a rapist. I mean most laugh in the room with the where the joke about rape is being made. I mean most know someone who they would not dob in. I mean the culture that like fucking breeds around these evil people. And I worry about the amount of men that say disgusting things when they get rejected. They call someone a horrible name, like, I mean all of those things that women don't do on the whole. Yeah, they're horrible women out there there are more horrible men. That's my point. Yeah, my second thing is after that little spield, it indicates quite to the contrary. I I'm totally fine with a woman who hates a man. Go for it, but I don't think it's the answer. No, but I think that it's like so many things, it's kind of like that's what we have right now. Yeah, and I can see why people react like that. Yeah, like I don't. I mean so many times you like read something in the news or you hear something that a friend tells you and you just like, what the fuck is with men? Like, why are they fucking doing this shit? It's too common. And but that's because I fucking go outside at night and I am scared. Yeah, it's not because I like have some weird vendetta. Yeah, and I think for a reason. I think that sometimes, you know, like I saw this really good tick tock from a man the other day that was like, Oh, you know this woman, I was going for a run and she was ahead of me and she basically like stopped and like looked over it. He could tell that she was really scared. MMM, and he was like, I didn't feel offended because, like if there's one shark in the like the ocean, you can yeah, but then I'm like, I hear some I'm like, it's not one truck. Yeah, it's not. HMM. Because again, there's someone who runs, abducts, murders. There's another guy at the party who knows the girls too drunk. Yeah, and there's another guy and there's another guy and there's another guy, and they're all different levels, but they're all the same act. Yes, and people. I obviously it's a spectrum. It's all the spectrum, whether you fucking grab some girl's waist when they walked past or you like went in for the kiss and they didn't want to and he so it's inappropriate. Bubble. But like whenever a woman tells me something that happened, my reaction is never, I've literally never heard that before. Yeah, it's never like Oh fuck, it's like isn't that just awful when they do that? Yeah, it's you know, and I obviously I'm not on someone's like I've been violety rope, like, isn't it just awful they do that? That's not that, but you see what I'm saying. Like, yeah, when someone shows me a throat of the messages, I'm never like holy fuck, I can't with a man could do that. It's like here we go again. Yeah, it's too common that that conversation of like you, you know,...

...yes, always one of those guys just, yeah, put them in that category. M You know. That's what I mean. That's my problem. Yeah, it's like we all, all the men, most men in my life I probably know, have done something that I wouldn't agree with. Interesting, like my dad definitely has friends about, like I've said, I've had a conversation with him before where I was like, I mean, you're trying to be like more empowered, but you also probably have stood by way while your friends have done inappropriate things and he was like, Oh, we are definitely, and I was like, well, isn't the key to that like examine that behavior? Yeah, I think that we need to like, I don't know how to do this in a way that will be received very well by those types of men who are like happy to be bystanders. But like I think that like we need to be able to communicate to them that they also are the problem. Yeah, like that is being part of the problem, standing by and not doing anything, that you are part of the problem. But I think that that wouldn't I mean, no one wants to hear that part of the problem, obviously, but like I just want it to be communicated in a way that it's like, if you think this is a real problem and you want to be on the right side of it, you need to stop that from happening. Yeah, and I think, sorry, what the fuck is happening? One of the confusing things for me is that women all know when a man is trying too hard to be a feminist to like it. Yeah, it's quite a very narrow angle of man who has got it right and actually knows how to listen and behave and adjust and examine and do all these things. It's so rare, because then there's like there's this whole or talk about nice guys who think they're like feminast and then they're like the gross system. Yeah, because they're like once away from an in cell. Yeah, but this is that, this is the danger we face. Is Not like I think that men sometimes put it down to like, well, how supposed to act them and they don't really genuinely know how to contribute to the conversation and engage with it. And I don't think one they're not interested to the too feel too scared because they feel like they're being told that they're the problem. Yeah, and they feel like they're being like, you know, you're a perpetrator. I think that men feel very threatened and shamed, and that's really not our fault. No, but what I mean is that it becomes a responsibility to handle or to like alleviate their guilt or absolve them of something more like talk to them about or educate them. And while I am happy to say that I am willing to be that person, I don't really know of any content or like, do you know of anything that actually you think that men listen to and respond too? Well, like, no, I don't know, because I was just thinking about that and like, if you're a men listening, this is what I think you should do when a woman that has to having that conversation. I do not think you, I mean, obviously you should not be like well, know me, you also you should not be like, Oh my God, Oh, that's disgusting. I can man, that happened to you. I'm so sorry for all men. I think you should just shut the fuck up and listen and comprehend what out what we're saying, and then go away and think about it, maybe talk about it with your friends, and then keep your eyes out, because a lot of the time it has to be your male like these rapists or whatever people. It has to be their male friends who...

...pull them up on it, because women can't fucking get through them or they're too afraid to confront them and be like what you did right there was fucked up. I think the the most interesting thing to me is that I cannot imagine ever a room full of men without a woman in it having a conversation like this. No, I'm I bet it's never happened, but you get what I'm saying. Yeah, women, I have conversations about men's emotions. I have conversations with all, like with my friends, about range of things to do with men, Explos to do with women, Explosi relationship, sex, all these things. Yeah, and I don't think that I mean on the whole. Yeah, I have again, if I'm talking at rooms that I've never been in, because they're all men rooms. Yeah, we don't know what's happening, but I don't think they are. No, I'd be surprised. I mean, I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong too, but like when one of these jokes POPs up, I would like to watch the flow on effect of someone calling it out or ever, I'm just laughing and letting it die, like there's so many. Yeah, it's just really interesting to me. Yeah, a quality meaning that I need to do yard work. Agree, I need you'd hate this. I knew you hate this. I agree with it. That's what doesn't mean that. That's very narrow view of no, but it's also a very narrow question box. It is. I don't want to know hard work. I don't ever, I don't do many things. How many men want to do you like genuinely wanted the hard work I do not say that. A lot could be surprised. Is that just so that they can get away from there? Why? I think kids, I know. But like, if I never set foot in another bundings again. We've talked about this. I'd be happy. There are my things up bunny there aren't give a fuck about plants. I just think it's very it's like I don't even know it should even bothers are you can't. Everyone was going to know what I want to do here. was like we have to do hard things, we have to do things. We don't like them, can do hard thing, but you know what I mean, like I yeah, I think your viewers very much like. Well, no one wants trage a life. I've wants to these tasks, but I also think that there's a world where you can go well, I like doing that, but I don't doing that. Can we work with that? Let me tell you a story. So we have a banana tree now yard. Yeah, right, and banana trees shed a lot. They like all the time, like leaves falling off, Blah, Blah Blah. So someone was here and they were they saw that the banana tree like needed like some TLC, because it was like shedding everywhere and then they were like to me or just like get nick to clean up the tree, and you went fucking did. The next weekend, I clean up the fucking tree myself, because you're telling about the comment. Yes, and I was like, I can clean up the fucking tree all, we can do it together. It's bad the assumption in the language. That's exactly, please, really exactly. But I have fun doing it. No, ill, sap is very right by the law. I hate banana lie. I Hate Bananas First of all. So I was like and then the sap is disgusting and it literally I did it a week ago and sap is still stay in my hands. Wasn't fun, more...

...full. I just fucking did it because I was like, women can clean banana trees. Okay, you are brave. Thank you, Quinn. I get your point. I get your point there. We all have do things we don't want to do, but I don't want to do outside, ever. Outside for men is I for woman. We should all be Vegan. Yeah, I mean I am Vegan, so I don't. I never say to people that they should be Vegan. But if people talk about like, Oh, I don't wear leather because it's because I don't. I think it's unethical, or I don't. I only adopt pets because I don't think it's right to buy them if they're like preaching those ideals and like. But do you eat me? Yes, I agree with that. It's not probably not very popular. I think we should all try our best. I think that's okay. Really revealing clothes like G string bikinis. Put Your Butt hole away. It's not feminism grows all right, like to gonna. I don't want to see about hole of the beach, but they do cover your butthole. Well, okay, something I feel like I'm moving more and more towards this like nudity. HMM, right, and there's obviouslything like free the NIP on know like how comfortable I'd feel, how when we move very, like, very far towards nudity. But you can still wear whatever you want. No, I know, but like I don't want to see Dick's I don't. Isn't this the same as I don't want to see under arm here, but I don't want to see a penis when I'm walking down the street. I don't know. Obviously I'm not saying that that's how far clothes are going, but I have this thing where I'm like what if, in ten years that's normal? I mean then it will be normal. I probably accepted, but like, even though one shows, when I see a Dick, I'm like, oh, but that's also unfair and I'll say why that's cancelable, because I'm desensitized to women having like nudity in movies, because it's more likely than a woman's whole body will be shown naked then a man's. Yes, yeah, I feel like when you see a penis in a movie, you're like, oh my God, that's crazy. Well, look, so we got. I do kind of yeah, clothes and no, no, I don't agree. Wait, whatever you want. Where whatever you want by like I think I feel perfectly threatened. This is probably an insecurity of mine. When you see those like those ads for like princess polly or like not, what's it called? Nasty out look, pretty little thing, and it's like this like make feel Clitteris I the Tony Vagina, and I'm like hod a fucking fit that. Yeah, that's true, but that's a different issue. I think get the issue being sizing and like, who would that work for? Yeah, and it being not inclusive as opposed to revealing clothing. Yeah, that's two separate debates. I hope I have been plotting something fun. No,...

...let me define whether it's fun. Thank you. I have been, I'Ming in Oregon whether to do this. How far the last day? You're gonna say something awful. No, I thought it would be fun if we guess what each other's guess what each others what are for feminist, feminist things I can't get on board with. You're going to say something that you know about me on you. Hannah doesn't think women should wear pants. No, I was like, don't know, what's with women having sons? There's enough men in the world and sold I don't know what you're on. You're so much less problematic than me. This is going to thanks clean. They go on. We can do this that if you want, because this is what I'm gonna write something about me that you've noticed that you don't like. I've noticed it. I don't noticed that you said it, but I this is a bit unfad. You said. This is something you said. Oh God, so I have this whole thing about body hair, obviously if you're listening. Like ten minutes ago I said to Hannah, and again this is a bit unfair because I just said it to her in it one day, I said to Hannah, imagine how much time we would have in the day if we just stopped removing all of our body I remember this, and then Hannah was like, well, I think we just stopped taking nudes. So I say that. Yes, do you stand by it? When was this? Like years ago? No, like last week. It was at the end of last year. I'm trying. And you said we'd have so much more time if we stopped taking nudes, and I was like it's not the same. I don't think of the same thing. No, I've been thinking are a lot lately. I've been having keeping it to so your problem is with sending nudes. Yeah, like when we do it as like a gift for them, but it can be empowering. No, so that's the feminist idea. You can't get on. Get on board with me. No, I said, like I you don't think it's feminist take nudes, to send duds? If you want to send Nude Oh, of course it is. I just think they don't deserve them. I didn't realize that was the background. Yes, sorry, no, no, I realize I said something so problematic in your eyes, but you didn't understand why. No, I think, well, now I see the I see where you compare that. Also, I thought it was unfair. I was like this is not fair what I'm doing, but I can't imagine, because we had this conversation last week and you said how much time will be saved, and I remember thinking fuck, yeah, that wasn't last week, that was months ago. What did you say last week? I'm thinking of then. Yeah, I said it again. Okay, you last week. The thing I was thinking, I was that you messaged me. I imagine how too much, like how much more time we would have to like start a revolution as women if we stopped drinking, and I was say, well, that's really fucking. Why would we have to stop drinking? Like men do most drinking anyway. Yeah, like, when it comes to drinking problems and the obviously women. I've been drinkers as well, but like I know more women have given up our whole and men. Yeah, I mean so this was I'd said this in context of someone conversation about me using my drink just I didn't just say it's just outn't know. I wasn't actually talking about you reducing or drinking. Oh, but it was the conversation. The source of the conversation was. I was talking about how I've been trying to drink a lot less. No, that was a conversation we'd had earlier in the day. It was not about them.

I just was reading it. I actually realize all towards. I was like, I hope you didn't mean there is about you. I did that. I didn't mean. I held onto it for like an hour. I'm sorry. You sent me a tumbler post about sobriety. Yeah, towards not drinking, and there's a book, and there's a lot of books out there, but there's a really good one, and you'll stark has a really good book as well about it, about giving up drinking, like how to quit like a something, isn't it? But like a woman, but like a it was highlighted in the sex and city reboot. It's because we had talked about it earlier that day with in regards to my drink that I was I was like attack, yeah, that wasn't about you. That's good. I thought. I was like, I promish you to wait an next day anyway, so that I didn't do think about it. That hard clue. I couldn't it what it was and the book was like basically said why specific like it was. I mean it's a book targeted to women trying to stop drinking, so obviously it's not just like this random thought, but it's like imagine, like what more we could do as women if we weren't participating a drinking culture. Yeah, and I don't drink, so it's easy for me to be like imagine. I mean I haven't studded the revolution, so maybe it's not relevant. With the nudes thing. Now we can, we can, we don't have to. I'm just shocked. nudes. Was it in context anything else? Or did I say it that was the whole context? We're talking about body hair. I think it's because I feel like I do feel like a lot of women feel, I think, from a young age, a lot of teenagers and nuds, which a pornographic images. I think we put ourselves at risk a lot. Yeah, with nudes, but also I see what you were if I'm not wrong, you are like the in context and was like, instead of shaving our body have for men sending nudes to men. Yes, yeah, it was in like the preparation and like efforts to do something on but like that's the thing is that I think that also, I think, if I'm correct, and what I was thinking about at that time also, is have you seen the nudes that men send? They're literally awful and like the news that women said the like works of art and it should be paid for, all of it. Yeah, and men are like the like. It's like a rufus than they could mole rap from can possible, and it's like women look like fucking, you know, on a cloud, like fucking Katie Perry with you know. It's just like the different and the way that we like give them these scrum littly omptious content that they should be paying for or like, you know, hanging on a wall, framed, and they're fuck that, I deserve it. I think that's my whole boy. Enough. Okay, well, I'll have to uncancer you for that thought. Well, I which I have been I've thought about a lot in the last few months. I'm like, that's such why would you say that? That's really interesting, because even when you said I was like, why would she say that's a great well, I just thought, like how are the two comparable? But I can see what you mean. It's obviously a difference. No, I don't removing body here and sending news of the same thing, but it was because you were referring to it as like something that we do for men. Yes, yeah, the sex work industry. I support sex workers, but the industry as a whole is exploitative. I think...

...it's difficult because I think that what we get into is like looking at on lawful trafficking and all these sorts of things that may happen in different regions as well, and I think there's no parody legally. So, you know, in one area, one state like Victoria, just decriminalized sex work, right, so the conditions for these sex workers are going to be get a lot better now, right, and they're going to be able to make like obviously, I think people fucking understand that if something is criminalized and you're doing it, you don't really feel like you can ring the police or make it a plaind to something happens. Right, if you're not in that, you're not working under the conditions that you deserve by law. As A and as a work, as a worker, but I think that when we see laws that protect this kind of work, labor, then you know it's not as exploitative. So I think it depends on the region. What's happening where we're at. I think social moving towards sex work being protected. Yeah, I mean it's we've got a long way to go. I can get the point of it, but I think it's very nuanced. The other thing is, I think I'm not saying that this person is making this argument, but there are a lot of people like of the school of thought that, like, you can't be a feminist and be a sex worker. Yeah, because like you're like you're selling your body for men or for the patriarchy, when I just don't think that. I mean, I totally disagree with that, obviously. So I think that's another like thing where it's like just the word exploitive. It's a bit tricky to navigate. Yeah, I mean a lot of women do a lot of things for men for free. Every day. Yeah, so guy, yeah, are thing. Did you him to the dish order the morning? Would not recommend you do that again. Trigger warnings, I do get it, but I think they may undermine resilience ultimately, for like a lot of people have talked about this, but I just think that, like if you have PTSD, for example, for one example, you deserve to be like given the heads up that something's going to come up in content that could like trigger some kind of like bad mental health reaction. But also, like I think that when we talk about resilience, I don't think it fucked. I think it is and I think that, for example, they're you know, there are content warnings on, you know, so on. I know that ABC does a specific content warning if there's an image of a first nations person that has passed away, image, like an image from when they were alive. Yeah, but they put content one is that started the article because that actually a they if first actions person sees the image of the person who has passed away, it there's a belief that it may affect their process in passing. Okay, so it's like they put the warning on so that you don't look at the image. Yeah, so there's like there's obviously really different reasons for content warnings and trigger warnings and I think that will use the word trigger, it can like make it sound like I think the word...

...trigger or trigger ring is very social justice worry of oaps. And Yeah, that's part of it's like when we put like a content warning, I think the people are much more accepting of it. Exact which is ridiculous, is just the connotations from the word trigger. Yeah, but you know the other thing. So I guess content warning sexual assaults right coming up. Sorry, but if you are like raped as like a young say, a young woman, or even like not a legal adult, then it's not like up to you to like a fucking build resilience because a book talks about rape. No, that's really fucked up. Like, if you really think about it, like children are abused and they deserve not to have to read about child sexual abuse. That is a surprise to them, and actually the probably really like it's just revisiting their lived experience. Exactly helpful for a lot of people that may be going through processes of therapy or kind of rebuild their fucking lives. Exactly, and I might ruin their entire day, like Loos. That's not building resilience. Yeah, because don't having to face there like dark, as dark as it not necessary all. So why do we need to be resilient enough? To like hear about here graphic accounts of rape. Yeah, we should be able to. Like, people should be there should be people. Obviously there are people who it's like part of their joble part of their work or whatever, but there should be many people in the world who should be able to go through their lives without hearing an account of rape. For then I will say that I think that in some instances, trigger warnings for some topics should like. That's not sorry, this is not about resilience, but I think that there have been some instances, and we talked about this a lot on the pod, about when you go so far left that you end up on the on the right, and I think that sometimes, I think that we should be very careful with how we use content warnings or trigger warnings, because sometimes you can by using a content warning, it stigmatizes a topic that should not be stigmatized. Yes, I recently read some content that had there were two pieces of content and one of them had trigger warning, or a content warning of bisexuality, and one of them had a trigger warning, such content warning of body hair. I am by and I have underarm hair and to me, when I read that, I was like I don't understand how that is particularly helpful because, like, my sexuality is not a trigger warning. My underarms on not a trigger warning. But also, like, to me hearing that, that would just indicate that every article ever written literally needs to display the overall categories of the content before it starts. Exactly what you're going to put a warning on. That you would literally with eat like that's just a sexual orientation. That's yeah, like I just don't understand how that's triggering. No, because I I think that further stigmatizes the topic. I don't understand. But like, the only people that would be triggering to...

...a people who don't respect exactly. I get it, and that's not what a content warning is for. It's for people who've experienced trauma and may find some topics confronting exactly. Like for me, that's like going up to like some fucking old conserative conservative guy and being like, just so you know, I'm about talk about gay people. So and then I'm being like, Oh my God, I have to walk away, don't. Yeah, I don't really get it. I think there's a very important purpose of trigger warnings, but I think that it depends while you're trying to warn people about and your intent there exactly. So I think use them. Using them properly is really helpful, but I think that they can be using correctly which actually creates the opposite effect. Yes, if you didn't find us a completely insufferable come back next Wednesday for a new episode. Could also find us on instagram at cheek media COR or online cheek Mediacom donated. Yes, buff Ala, that's the one.

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