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The Weekly Cheek
The Weekly Cheek

Episode · 4 weeks ago

88. Diet culture will f*ck you up

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we're talking about diet culture! This episode could be triggering for some listeners, please use discretion.

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Hello, I'm Christin Paris and Otto, and I'm Hannah Ferguson and where, Co founders a cheek media. This is the weekly Cheek podcast. Before we start this episode, I would like to acknowledge that we are in stolen aboriginal land of the indurable people and I would like to pay my respects to their eldest, past and present. Welcome back to weekly cheeks. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. You know Um, soon as she's the man. Welcome to, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to early. Never talked to that film really. I think I had about my Shakespearean moment, moment of choice. Interesting, I wasn't that obsessed with ten things I had about you. I only saw it for the first time in Ye know, I did like change my world. I thought he'd led. It was like the most beautiful thing I'd ever I was so sad when he died. He was like my second love after when I had my sexual awakening when I was four and I heard Michael buble singing on the plane radio and I was like, what is this feeling? I think I've told you mind before, but I'm not going to say it on the podcast. Sorry. Also, I don't think before I can have a sexual awakening, but I remember I might have been four or five, but I left the plane where I was like, I feel really weird in my stomach. Something you need, something. That happened, something different, something big at this summer. Okay, so today we're going to talk about diet culture. A bit of a change of tune there. Yes, Um, also, I'd like to shout out my shirt. It's from charm offensive tease. Shout out, shout out. I love hum offensive tease. I also love her stories and the mustache filter, the commitment to the mustache filter. You love the mustache filter too, I do. I wish I didn't smooth your whole face. Why? Yeah, that's a whole another hanging. It's like all things loosely linked to diet culture. I think. Just a quick content warning. In this episode we're going to be talking about diet and restriction and diet culture as a whole and just at eating. So if that...

...is triggering to you, probably skip this episode. Okay, so, first of all I'd like to think of something. I'd like to say something that I thought of while I was writing notes for this episode and I was like, wow, that's revolutionary diet. Why is it called Diet Culture? It's not actually about the diets, about skinniness, yes, but I think it's because that all of the things that they promote are towards dieting, towards restriction, and I think it's more pointing towards that restriction and that sort of imprisonment idea. And that's what I think dieting is. I don't think it's because you're not going to be like beauty standard culture or beauty culture. I think because also when you bring in the word beauty, I think a lot of people write that off as like skincare. Yes, I just mean like generally, I'm not sorry, and I'm like, wells it is. I'm not speaking. You're not starting a petition to change the name, but because no one actually cares if skinny people eat McDonald's four times a day and no one cares if like, bigger people eat nothing but selary. Yes, like it's not. I'd just like to say that it's not actually about the Diet. It's never about the Diet. But I also think that these fad diets are away to sort of not excuse, but like it's this way of saying like oh well, you know, we're just cleansing, and it's all like this idea of like this healthy living wellness culture, and it's not at all. When I think of like Paleo key to all these things, I just like I think at the end of the day, the thing that people forget about dieting is, no matter how you look at it, it's calorie intake and then output right, and I think that these fads are one of the worst parts because like, okay, so you're shooting yourself five times a day because the laxative tea. Well, it really comes down to your calorie and take an outtake. And if you Um, you know are obsessed with my fitness Palem I've got a notifications that are like don't eat, never again. Then you don't a bit closed. You're a bit close. Maybe don't have any more parts today. fucked up. Why Go Away? Have you tricked your lunch? I have so many memories from that, from early high school, of like tracking everything and then getting the notific patients that are like you've attract...

...your breakfast. I'm because I haven't eaten breakfast. In three months because of you idiot, Um, because I think I have a I don't really want to talk about personal experience because, Um, I just don't really think I'm the voice that should be adding to it. But when I was powered in competitively, I did use my fitness pal and I have like a very I have always had a fairly healthy relationship with food and it even got me, definitely, because I think like just because you used to, we used to like, if we were starting dieting, we would like download the APP, Um, because I used to delete it every time I didn't like, in quotes, need it, and then just track what we like just a normal day, like just act eat normal. But I feel like as soon as you take tracking into a consideration, you're no longer eating normal. Of course not. So, when you're tracking your calories, whether that's in an APP, whether that's just like written down or whether that's like reporting back to some type of medical professional what you're eating, you're never eating, never like acting, you're never eating normally, you're never eating intuitively. And I think that and for a lot of people, and I know like people who have experienced disorder eating or eating disorders, Um actually a lot of time blues the ability to eat intuitively because they no longer um like. I think it's something about like the relationship between your brain and your stomach, like you no longer understand, you can no longer recognize like hung a cues um and things like that. So I don't want to say like there's no place for tracking, because I think that the probably is, but it's like roll. I actually think for me it started with the biggest loser. Oh, really? Yeah, I think that. I mean I have my parents are bad with comments about waiting things. They always have been. But when I used to watch season after season in our house with the big loser, and my parents were big for like ordering takeaway and then sitting watching the big sluder and yelling at the people yelling at the screen, and that doesn't really read body confidence, I...

...would argue. But I think it was like an back to our year nine theory. Nine was the worst of it for me. I lost a lot of weight. I was really engaging in disordered eating, very much binge purge culture, and I probably would not eat till four pm every day and then just come home and eat like everything in the asks. I was starving Um and honestly, that really was a problem for me, for you, with his hunt for years, with his hunger cues, because my body was so used to just my stomach would just expand exponentially and then go back and so it would never know what was happening. I think it took me years, I mean still struggling with it, and now I'm seeing a psychologist because I want to deal with that approach it. So I think it's I mean, I don't think that I'm the poster person for Disort of eating and eating disorders, but I think that I have actively struggled with it for like a decade. Yeah, and the thing is, like a lot of the I read like a really disturbing stat about like if you're if you have an undiagnosed or unum addressed eating disorder and it goes through through like through your twenties, I think the chances of you ever recovering from it is very, very low, like if it's like if it's ongoing for a really long time. Because I remember this, Oh my God, it actually gives me goose ones because it was so freaking awful when I was I worked in pharmacy for like a decade between Um, a year ten and when I started my first, like Um Adult Post Grad job. I we had like those Gluecoa Gel Jelly beans at the front of the counter and I was checking this woman out and she had a little girl who was probably six, seven at the Max, like preschool or grade one, and the mom was like Oh, do you like, shall we get some jelly beans? She had like a little boys who was younger, and the girl like look, picked up the jelly beans, turned there over and was like how much sugar is in this? And I was like Oh my God, and the mom was mortified that I know where she's learning it. Well, I don't know if she was just covering it up...

...or if it was the truth, because she looked at me like alarm and she was like I don't know where she's picking this up or like said something about like something at school. So I was like it could be like a grandparent, or I mean it could have been the mom and she just didn't want it to happen public. Sometimes I think it's not that the mom or any parent or famine member is enforcing it on the child like donate those because you'll be fat. I think it's actually often repeated behavior if the mom is struggling herself. Oh Yeah, and I think that's part of it. Is like a lot of us grow up with, grew up with MOM's or aunts or grandma's who were obsessed with Jenny Craig and wait watches and getting those tiny meals in that are providing very little nutritional value and, you know, like Tiktok. I'm not sure if this comes up on your feet, but those like Um, I just want to see my mom eat a carp or my mom's the kind of woman eats one arm and for lunch, and those are the things and I just think like this is what the generation above us has been trained to do and it scares me and I think that's what that's what we've been raised around, is these ideals of the beauty standard, because it's been enforced through them. Right. Diet culture is everywhere and it's it's and things like the biggest loser actually teach us from a very young age how many calories are in everything and how to lose weight, but in the least healthy and Um and in sustainable ways. And I think that's one of the things that is like these diet. Diet culture is not sustainable. Ever, it's my view. I don't know how to dismantle it. Well, that's the thing. Like our Um like our parents generation, are doing it because their parents generation did it to them. Like it's one of those things. And I find, and I wrote an article about it, which you can view on our instagram. It's like like at what points waits the point of making it? Oh, I think that feminism, feminism and progressive people have done a lot of work to dismantle a lot of different things, but that one, I just don't even think we've even made a dint in it. Like, I know there is a bit of like a counter content to it,...

...but it's just nowhere near like widespread enough. And I think that one of the things came up from the article that you wrote and published last week, which was really popular about it, was that the comments were really disturbing. They proved the need for the article. Yeah, and I think that there's the argument that appeared, the rhetoric that appeared in the comments was a lot of people sort of I would call it a lash out. People would lash out and say, but the opposite isn't good either. We don't want people diabetes. We don't want people be obese. The is diet the antidote to diet culture is not obesity. The opposite of Diet Culture is not obesity. They're not. That's not how it works. And actually I would argue that people that engage heavily with diet culture are just as unhealthy as someone who may be morbidly obesi. Exactly. That's what made me so mad and honestly, like, the comments really took me back. Actually, I wasn't expecting Um, no, like no opposition, but I think the like I didn't. So I didn't write in the article specifically, you know, I didn't address like the opposition that we would inevitably get, because I think the problem is the people who are saying stuff like that, like you're perpetrating diet culture right now, like, do you understand that? And I think the thing people always say like well, we don't want to promote obesity or like. Then they say that about like plus size models being on the cover of magazines. We don't want to promote Obecityer, like that's not you know, if we dismantled like all of this bullshit diet culture, people as a whole would be genuinely more healthy, and I mean that in the holistic sense of the world word, as in like mentally, like. Our mental state around food, in my opinion, is the worst diet. CORTIC kills, literally and honestly like the what I mean, even in my limited experiences, my stomach has been put through and what the dieting that I did and what I ate, it was fucking horrific. Like I am not a healthy us and it's only...

...now, in my mid twenties, when I can say that, now that I'm actually discovering like eating well and nutritionally, being more considerate of what I'm putting into my body, and I feel so much better. And that's one of the things is like, I know, like I was ironed defficient, be twelfth deficient, I had calcium issues, I had zinc and iron issues. I already said I am a had issues of everything, double issues, vitamin D deficient, vitamin C deficient, and I think about all those things. I need a bunch of injections, with a bunch of infusions. And then when I actually started going outside eating well, I was like crazy. I don't feel exhausted all the time and that's not diet culture. That's like a more holistic look at how you're living your life and routine. And the thing is is that this like and I think that Tiktok is presenting both the best and the worst of it. Like some of the content I see on Tiktok is like people who are plus sized talking about what they actually eat in a day, and it's fascinating because they're much healthier than me most of the time. What they're eating is much more nutritionally balanced and considered than me. But we're taught that if you're thin, that health and it's not actually what it looks like at all. When I watch Victoria's secret show, which is never because that's it's horrific, I think that is not the picture of health. It's actually the opposite and I think we need to retrain our brains to look at that and go no one who can look like that is actually considering what they're putting in their body. It's all controlled, it's all restricted and it's all counted incessantly. Yeah, exactly. Should talk about naughty cake. Yes, let's do it, naughty cake, naughty cake. So Naughty Naughty cake is our very fun hilarious. Obviously, when you said that I was like this isn't funny hilarials. It's got a hilarious name, but it's very it's like literally one of the things that get me the most is in I think it's like really in any environment, but I think it's like particularly highlighted in a corporate environment when there's like a shared morning te on and there's always like inevitably, it's unfortunately pretty much always women Um, but there's always like inevitably one woman who's like Oh, no, I can't, that's naughty, I can't, no, I can't have that cake, or they eat the...

...cake and they're like, Oh, I'm so bad, I'm sought to like those colors off tomorrow. And it also comes out specifically at family events, at like EAS during Christmas, when there's chocolate, when there's putting, when they're specific meals, people are obsessed and it's funny because I don't think that the people actually feel guilty all the time. necessarily. I think it's about saying it out loud to others because you feel watched. Like whenever I'm a commentary about the food I meeting, it's because I feel embarrassed, not not about my weight or how I look, but that I feel like they need to declare that I don't eat like that. Usually it's more of like a just so everyone knows I don't scoff this at home. You know what I mean. I feel like it's some sort of way to alleviate the conversation or put the eyes off you, when actually all it's doing is feeding into the negative commentary that everyone else has in their own mind, that inner critic in a food critic. It's like the little little chef, little little remi, the ratic. Yeah, but it's interesting because I think that it's sometimes a way to deflect and deflect judgment. Put all it does is put it back on you. Yes, and I think that a lot of and it's probably it's like goes a step further when people in those environments make comment about like if you go in for like a second donut or something. Yes, and I think it's watching. No one gives. One's counting you don't never like clocking you like that's the seventh chip. You know what I mean. No one does that. No one does that. I also have a weird thing. I think this is so strange Um when, like, you're at dinner with someone or like multiple people, especially when it's more than one, and like some people want dessert, some people don't, and like just the weirdness that comes about from someone eating dessert and not anyone else wanting any one. It's guilt, but too it's feeling like you're taking up someone else's time, I would argue as well. That's a hard one sometimes, but I agree. It's like always a there's always a clear consensus. It's the same with entrees. Yes, like do you want someone to share the table and something? No, I don't need that, I want my brandy. Oh my God, if someone says no to the bread, please like exit from my...

...life. But also, can I just say, like part of this that kind of bothers me is in the reverse as well. So I don't know, it's the rest. So a few weeks ago we put up like a which it was like a red flag or a turn off or something, and one of the things someone submitted was that. I was like, no, I need to say something on this was someone said, like, Oh, I went on a date. It is the worst date thing. What's happened on the worst date? And someone said I went on a date and I ordered like, like a Burger and wedges and he ordered a green tea. I was a bit like, so you felt bad that you've done that, but who cares? Like, I think if he wants to be sad and just have one green tea, shirts up to here. But I think it's like why are you shaming yourself? Are you shaming him for not meeting you in the Middle? Like, I don't understand. I just think we should have less focus on food. I mean it's kind of like the body positivity us a neutrality thing, like I think we're too obsessed with what we're putting into our bodies and in a way it's like, obviously we should be moving to more of a health perspective, but we're so obsessed with what not even what's actually in the food, what the perception is exactly, and actually obsessed with the nutrients and the cards and the facts. You're not obsessed. You're obsessed with how it looks and the judgment that you receive, but you're not actually obsessed with what that actually represents. Interesting. I also think that on the in the like the flip side, like the idea of like having to clean your plate. Oh, I think it is like the same kind of thing. It's like when you go to yeah, when you go to a restaurant, you leave a cover chips behind and like, I know probably there's lots of people whose parents were like finish everything on your plate, where starving children in Africa, when it's like well, like, if we actually got rid of all of that, we would just stop eating when we're full. And like I hate waste. I absolutely hate waste. Um, and I very rarely leave anything on my plate, but that's usually because I have a fairly good like radar and like how much I want to eat, and I think that that is only because I have a healthy relationship with food, and a lot of people don't have that. But I think like that, like...

...it's a big deal if there's like something left, like come on, leave a couple of chips, who cares? If you really don't want them, then just fucking leave them. Or like even eating at home, like putting. I get into this thing. Sometimes. It's more for me about like the wasting mindset, like if there's like a little bit left over, I'm like a tiny bit like what am I going to do with that tomorrow. I actually don't really like the feeling and feeling extra full. No, I don't think anyone actually does. No, it's very like hybername. It got a hybername. So, but and then even like when, Um, so, like everyone who's probably ever done like any of the standard Diet knows about, like the old cheat meal and like the belief that you have to like absolutely obliterate yourself for this cheat male because it's like, well, I'm only going to get one in the whole week, so I have to like gorge myself and just like feel so shit and disgusting. I've always hated that, that mentality, the cheat male. Cancel the cheat meals. I'm sure people can see this on Tiktok as well. Um, the obsession with diet culture and how it mixes in with like life, coach kind of vibes, and it's like if you're if you're like diet is not good in your life is not good and like obsessed with like productivity culture mixing with Diet. Have you seen? Not Really. Okay, I'm not on TIKTOK. It's I know there's so many unviewed tiktoks that I've sent you all my hard work wasted. Eventually, eventually, I think it's like it's probably like part of like meal prep is like a perfect example of it. Or like those people who wake up and then drink like a huge mason jar of water. Yes, I mean, I know, I kind of see the health benefits because you've just gone like eight hours plus without any drinking any water, so you're thirst thing, probably dehydrated, but like making it into a thing that's like, if you just do this one lemon water, your life is going to be back. But if I think it comes back to like a lot of the my...

...day on a plate, everything I in a day. Those articles and videos really are focused on people that have in excess wealth. Yes, so often you've got a private chef coming in and cooking new meals and and the worst one I ever saw was God of Paltrow's, which is unsurprised, but a lot of them are like had a lemon water, then had a smoothie at ten and then doesn't they don't actually put anything in their body until like two PM and then they eat too light meals that are like salmon on a bed of Salad, and I'm like send them to the ELECTROC chair. Send them. Do you remember what the kind of you don't have to specifically recount what Paltrow was like. What were the vibes? I can find it. I always find I'm not faming her true good idea, queen. The other thing is, like I see so many people on Youtube who were just like generally, there's this one woman who I'm not going to name, but she's she's quite young, I think maybe she's like twenty, and she is like very, like a slight, like quite slim um and her whole family is slim and it's probably just genetics. But who am I to judge or like decide? But people keep asking her in the comments for like, Oh my God, do it. What did I eat in the day? What do I what I eat in a day? And she was like, Oh, this is so weird, like I don't understand why people keep asking me. I'm like it's because you're skinny, like it's just like so because she obviously doesn't compute that and I just think it's like so fucking sad that she's like going to she's then she did it and I was like, Oh God, it's because people want to know what Diet you're on. Do they want to look like you? News Splash. It doesn't matter. If you follow someone else's Day on a plate to the tea, you will never look like them exactly, exactly. Okay, so Gwen, this is Gwen, Gwyneth's Gwenne's is a video. So I'm just gonna read from this article that's recounting what she says. So, for starters, unsurprising. She's not really into breakfast. Okay, yeah, I mean it's actually I'm not into breakfast, but that's because I'm always like, I don't thick of them on it ill. So...

...she's not a big breakfast person. She goes straight to the gym after dropping her kids at school with nothing in her body and then always has a big thing of water at the gym, big thing of water and inverted quotations and she puts scoops of powders into her water for vitamin C and something else and she says it's like by morning orange juice. Well, it's not. It's powdered water. Frankly, it's not pulp. I know that there is, like fasted cardio is a thing, but like it goes against everything I believe to not eat before the gym. Then she's a smoothie, spinach almond butter, some other Shir it sounds awful. Then she'll have a peanut butter protein bar. I'm structure has a bar. She does make it herself or has one of her cooks to make it. Then lunch is a salad with some protein, very explicit carbs. Turkey. There's no carbs in it all, by the way. Afternoon snacks or a must will thank God, because we've had nothing. So she'll hit the snap cupboard at the goop office at about three or four. She says, okay, she'll grab something salty, cashews or bread, sauce. Then she keeps dinner simple, but it varies. Oh, she has a cup of green tea before that. Of course, of course for dinner I have whatever I want, but I always try to avoid highly processed foods and high fruit toast corn syrup. So it's not everything anything you want. So she's saying chicken or a stir FRY. That is just sad. That is a sad state of affairs. She has dinner at like six thirty PM, she says. Occasionally she indulges in French fries indulgence. I have them like seven do. I Love Kippy, some indulgence potato. It literally Little Naughty Potato. So she she wait. She has dinner at six thirty and she does not eat until like what. She's dropping her kids at school, like eight thirty, going to the gym, having her powders. That's not calories, and then she's not eat until her smooth that...

...is such a small window to eat. What the absolute fun. It's also because, like our the Gen xes have. Sorry, no offense to you, but you have sold us this narrative that we can't eat past like seven PM. Yes, no carbs after six has always been a rule. Yeah, do you know what's really fucked up? When I was in years, oh no, it might have been when I just quit school, just finished school. Um, when I was in my first job. We were open. It was a pharmacy eight am to eight PM, and my boss who was toxic as fuck and tried to fire me after I quit. But that's a story for another day, which I might have told on the podcast. Anyway, I think you have, I think I have. She told me Um pompously that she doesn't eat dinner after seven. She doesn't need after seven and I'm like, I work until eight o'clock, thanks to you. So she was giving like trying to school me on like her new diet. I would have worked to I remember when I was in school I worked till midnight some nights and then I would have come home and have dinner and then I would get up for school at seven and then I would eat again because I was starving. This is when I wasn't in my anorexic year nine phase Um. Year nine. It's really not really related year nine. We're thinking about right and making a sure that says I'm sorry about what I said in year nine. I thought give me a little Botom me for what I did in year nine. Net setter should be I'm not sorry for what like to take the power back and like, but I am sorry. I am very sorry. I actually tweeted that last time. I want to tweet it today. It's a funny mean. I am the most sorry. I'm so sorry. I think the thing is like we can't dismantle it and I don't know how. I think the thing that worries me most is even the most radical among us all have suffered from eating disorders and disordered eating throughout our lives because it's been shoved down our throats. Isn't that? I run a cart Um, but I don't know what to do about it. Like I don't know how we how do we stop this advertising? How do we stop influences from promoting these products? How do we stop our obsession with the fitness industry and the wellness industry, because it's really it's really only grown, especially in the last...

...five years. I also think there's something to be said for the covid weight stuff. A lot of lockdown weight discussion. Did you see that thing that someone put up on Tiktok, and I don't know who originally thought of it. It was like, how fucked up is it that during a global pandemic, we were all worried about gaining five kilos instead of worrying about literally sucking, dying from like people were dying and other people were like my five kilo, I lockdown, work from home. Wait. Literally, I think that the best thing that we can do is um like stop the conversation in its tracks when me it's happening in our circles, because I remember this one time and I said it was it was to a man actually, which is probably like unusual for the issue, who I worked with a few jobs ago, and he said something about milk. He was like on a diet, he was always on diets, and he said something about putting skim milk in his coffee. By the way, I hate where people called Skim milk skinny milk, like skinny, flat white. Isn't that Skim Milk? Yeah, it's just skim because it's skimmed. Skinny milk sort of that. Anyway, skinny milk is blue. Have you ever noticed that? No, it's translucent. It's so gross. Yeah, anyway, no offense if that's what you're drink. Milk Gros. Yes, agree, I'm Vegan, so I'm just gonna get back on my high horse now. Anyway. So he was saying about, yeah, putting skim milk in his coffee versus like full creamy, and then he said he called it bad. There was like no skim milk and he had to put full cream in milk in his coffee, and it was like, oh, it's just so bad, and I just like turned around. I was like food doesn't have a moral value, and like he was shook, shook to his core. And I was like, Oh, you never literally never heard that before, because I also think that even though men are not as affected by Diet culture as women, I think that a lot of the time people are even less likely to call it out when it's a man. Well, I think men have different kinds of pressures. Yeah, because you have to be like strong and muscles exactly. And so I think...

...that in school, what I saw especially was a lot of the boys in my grade were like obsessed with the meal prep, chicken and Rice to go into the gym bulk, and how they looked and how they were physically built. So it's different. It's restriction versus build up and how big you can get, and I think, I mean they're competing, but I think they're both just as damaging. I agree. I agree because and also I think that a man who's like into like a casual body building is actually must much less likely to get a diagnosis of disordering eating or even disorder, because it's because of the way that it's like it's framed as a sport and they're like it's really serious, whereas when a woman is like eating fucking celary sticks, it's just like for her silly little, but also like, and it's interesting because it's one of the few things where you're congratulated for your suffering. Yeah, like, if you have develop a needing disorder and you lose weight, you are then congratulated and gratified for that. You are validated by everyone that you know. If you if if you're eating disorder causes you to put on weight. No, but in most circumstances, when it's successful, in I put that heavy in quotations, when it's successful, you are only going to see your peers uplift you, and that's it's most scary about it, because only reaffirms the narrative to you that that is the way to be, and it's on both ends, for men and women. Do you think you should ever comment on someone's weight? No, I do, but I shouldn't. And I do because sometimes, and this is terrible, but sometimes I know that the people around me are struggling and I like, for example, if, like, a family member had lost a bit of weight and I knew that they were trying, working really hard towards that, and I don't think it's actually if I think I believe it's genuine disordered eating, I would not do that, but I know that like saying something to them like you're looking really good. I don't think you should and I don't want to comment, but I think especially for the old generation, people my age, I try my hardest not to, but for the old generation, I know like I can't. I can't save them from that. All I can do is say, like, you're looking really good and I think that you're looking really healthy...

...and trying to limit the need to lose further way. But like someone like my younger sister, who I know is going through exactly what I went through, my commentary is only please, can we go out and have lunch? Please can we? And I know that in a way that's another problem. Like I don't know if we should be commenting on at all, on eating, but for me it's like I need to go out with you and have a meal so that I know. Yeah, and I don't know how to fix that and I can't, but I agree. I don't think we should be talking about I don't know how to deal with it in an ideal world, but I think there are like again, it's like never a blanket answer, because what if if? If someone has like, let's say, a middle aged man has gone to the doctor because he has like specific heart and I know that the doctor, so many doctors likely to. You come in with the broken toe and they're like you, have you lost any weight, like a genuine problem that is like about like, Um, like basically fat around the organs is like the thing that can cause issues. Um, and if like yes, I have fifty six year old man is told you, Um, I need to lose weight because of X, Y Z health condition in that case, and then and then they started, like, you know, switching up their lifestyle and being a bit more active or whatever. I think that is different when you say, like, Oh, you look good, like you look looking well. Yes, I think looking well is probably the easiest way to do it, because I think that the other thing is so many of so many compliments are like just loaded and even if you're not intending them to be about someone's body, it comes across like that. Like if if I said to someone like, Oh, you look good, I always worry that they're going to take it as like about their way, about how they like. Yes, and I never mean it like on the converse. We were at work the other morning and, Um, I came in and I wasn't wearing any makeup and one of our colleagues said to me, you look really unwell. Do you have covid? You need to go home, and I'm just wearing Oscara. I shouldn't laugh. It was at the time I was like, Oh, I know what they meant. It's also because they're very covid wary. But I was like come on. But I...

...think like what wait, we can't. Why are we doing that? But actually that's unfair because a couple of years ago I wanted to get sent home from work sick because I had a party on. So I didn't wear any makeup and then I came in and my boss was like, Oh my God, you must go home, you look terrible, and I was like eating it and then to really get to the add and it wasn't even me like it was like me like acting normal, and she was like, Oh my God, what's happened? And I was like, Oh, you can't get my bags and go with it, like Shit, I just didn't have Mascara on. It wasn't even foundation, it was just Muscara. There is something about Muscar power that MSCAR has on someone with no eyelashes. I guess if you're usually wearing the scar and then you don't get some every time. Well, I mean, if we're going to live in this toxic world, we've got to make it some to US sometimes, sometimes in a safe and knowledgeable way, and at the expense of other women. That was not that's just that was at the promotion of the women, because me and my friends are getting drunk executed. Technically. Come back frown next episode on Choice Feminist. Thank you. If you didn't find us a completely insufferable come back next Wednesday for a new episode. You could also find this on Instagram, at cheek media co or online cheek media DOT COM. Dott you, yes, that's the one. That's the one.

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